Back in Indo rite now.

Still getting used to all the traffic and noises and the heat! Damn, it's so warm in here. And for sure I have to get used all the costum here. Like here, I can't hug my guy in public, and for sure I mustn't hold Dita's hand without being branded as lesbians. Geezzzzzz.........get a life, people. Or better yet, open your mind.

This annoys me...
Me: (very quiet)
O (Other person): Why are you so quiet? Are you mad?
Me: Nope
O: Nah, I'm sure you're mad
Me: Noooo!!! I'm just sitting here minding my own business.....
O: Nope! You're mad!
Me: Now I am.

And this...
O: What's wrong?
Me: Nothing
O: Tell me!
Me: Nothing!!

When I'm annoyed, I'll tell YOU! But when you do THAT, it annoys the hell out of me. It's like I'm being forced to tell you something that I'm not ready to do yet. And never assume how I feel and force it against me.

Damn you!!!

Went to Crustacean last night for a farewell dinner. This is the second time I saw the guys wearing formal attires hhehehee....but it was fun.

*the handsome guys, David, Victor, Robert, Hamdani, Hendy*

*Pepe, David, Hendy, Hamdani*

*Victor, Ronald, Robert*

*the girls! Dita, Me, Icha, Karin*

*Dita, Icha, Me, Karin....taken when we had no idea that the camera was OVER THERE*

*Dita, Me, Icha, Karin, Ronald*

After dinner we went to Highland until 3 in the morning.

It's like party everyday now that David has officially moved in, and Pei2, too. When I'm gone from here, David will take over my room, and Pei2 will take the room that David has been sleeping in since a week ago. But since I haven't, tonight I'd sneak up to the room beside me and take a picture of David and Pei2 sleeping in one bed hihihihihi.....*evil thought*

So once again this house is full of guys except me. Sometimes they forget that I'm a girl so they show no manner at all. They talk about girls, talk about guys, talk about so many things that I would wave my arms, screaming, "Too much info!!!!" Maybe one day I could warn their girlfriend-to-bes.

One thing I hate for sure is how messy this apartment is now. Yesterday I just cleaned the kitchen floor and today I had to watch in horror as the guys wore their sandals and stepped on all over the floor when they carried D's stuffs into the house. Also, there are just too many stuffs in the living room coz D's waiting for me to get my stuffs out so he can get his inside what-would-be-my-former room.

But I'm glad there are lots of people in this apartment. I wouldn't get scared over some scary stuffs at night. Hehehehe......

You don't know how much you mean to me...

Baru kelar nonton Must Love Dogs di DVD. Biasa, kerjaan kalo lagi gak ada kerjaan. Wait....that sounded weird. Anyhoo besok harus dibalikkin *actually hari Rabu tapi since hari ini banyak kejadian yang aneh2* jadi gue ngebut nontonnya. Oke sih pelemnya, gak usah mikir. It's a cliche. But I love John Cusack. Suaranya itu loh, kerennnnn.......*drooooollllll* Ditambah lagi ada Dermot Mulroney (yang main di Wedding Date)......kyaaaaaaaaa......tonite I'll sleep happy.

Harusnya ngepak nih tapi yah seperti biasa, laziness strikes. And I don't know why, I miss my boo so much. Gue kebanyakkan nonton pelem romantic comedy kayaknya.

Sabtu ini bakal pergi makan di Crustacean ama anak2. Abis itu mau clubbing, karena terakhir pas masih tinggal ama Yenky, mau clubbing malah gue accident di freeway. Kutu. So tar Sabtu anak2 Calpoly bakal keren2 lagi nih karena itu tempat fine dining, jadi harus pake baju yang rapih en sopan. Kali ini beneran loh, guys, gue gak boong kayak waktu gue tipu loe orang makan di Houston.

Gini yah, waktu itu gue traktir makan dia orang di Houston, trus gue kerjain, "Tu tempat harus pake baju rapi loh, kemeja, jas, all the works. Namanya juga steakhouse! Jadi jangan salahin gue kalo gak boleh masuk yah!" Beneran deh, pas dateng tuh pada rapi2, takjub liatnya dari kaos en jeans lancai jadi orang dewasa, orang bisnis mirip eksekutip muda.....tapi gue dijitak rame2 pas ngeliat kiri kanan kalo yang makan disitu pake casual clothes.

Anywayyyyyyyyy.......ya sutra lah, ngantuk juga nih, besok harus beli koper, trus mampir ke sekolah buat ketemu counselor.

Woke up at 11 in the morning (!!!) just to find out that I had 3 missed calls, and 4 voice mails.

First voice mail:
"Sis, I've been kicked out from school and dorm..."

Wha...?! Pressed 1 to repeat.....yeah I heard correctly. My younger sis who studied in FIDM, Fashion Institute Design Merchandise, had been kicked out. So I called her to yell and demand some answers. She said that it was because of all the Cs and Ds that she'd been getting for the past 3 quarters, the school wasn't satisfied.

You fucking THINK?!

So I kidnapped David and Victor to help me carry my sis' things from the dorm to the car. Thanks, guys!

Called dad, and she's going back home with me for good.

I could've killed her. Many people wanted to study overseas and she just threw the opportunity away by...uh...not studying.

Anyway must continue packing. I'm going back on the 16th of January. Yayyyy Indo!

Duh gak bisa tidur nih. Ntah napa sejak gak sekolah, trus ditinggal roommies pulang Indo, jam tidur gue jadi ngaco. Sekarang gue serasa living the dead's life. Matahari terbit, gue tidur en bangun pas matahari mau terbenam. Setelah 2 minggu gak liat matahari, ditambah lagi sekarang lagi winter jadi matahari lebih cepet terbenamnya, muka gue langsung pucet kurang vitamin (emang pernah cukup??).

Sekarang itu 2 makhluk udah balik. Yang ngga tau, skg gue tinggal sama Hendy (a.k.a Bebenk or Benkyo kalo gue lagi ngerayu dia buat pergi makan hihihihi) en David. Dia orang kemaren2 ini masih jetlag, jadinya gue ada temen berbego2 ria sampe jam 6 pagi, kadang malah Hendy ini suka masak jam 6 gara2 kelaperan subuh2.

Ough, sebelom mikir yang aneh2 kenapa gue bisa tinggal sama 2 cowo, save it deh. I've heard enough. Cukup eneg tentang gak pantes, gue ini cewe kegatelan lah tinggal sama 2 cowo, cewe bandel lah, cewek gila lah yang berani gak takut di attacked malem2 ama cowo.......Please deh, I've had it with your shallow thoughts. Lagian gue cuman tinggal bareng dia orang for 4 months. After Dita, they are the best rommies ever. Mungkin karena gue cewe sendiri jadi terkadang protective drive nya dia orang suka kick in, terutama kalo gue pulang malem.

Tadi gue mo ngomong apa yeh? Anyway, ini jam 4 pagi.....blom ngantuk, malah sirik ngeliat Mica yang udah pules di ranjang, di dalem selimut. Gile ye tu doggie cepet amat gedenya.

*dulu pas Mica baru datenk, umurnya 2 bulan*

*masih imut2!! ini malemnya*

*sekarang!!! 11 bulan*

*pose dia yang buru2 bangun pas gue buka pintu*

Nak, jangan cepet2 gede dong! Selain berat, kamu jadi bandel pisannnnnn!!!! Pan malem2 kalo gue gak bisa tidur, gue jadi suka ngisengin Mica. Senggol2, guling2, timpuk bantal....dasar doggie udah dari dulu gue kasih makan Eukanuba yang katanya punya kandungan DHA buat perkembangan otak semasa pertumbuhan (eits, bayi manusia juga butuh loh...kok gue jadi promosi???) walhasil dia jadi bisa bales dendam! Pagi2 jam 11 dia jitak2 pala gue pake kaki dia. Hajar!

Duh bosen.......gue.......nonton DVD aja deh, tadi sewa Stealth, Valiant, Must Love Dogs, en Kronk's New Groove.

Typed my name on Google.

Shocked on what I found. She has the same name as me, we had the same major, she's from Indo, too. But she's in OZ while I'm in US.

Click here.

The great expectations

So I'll go straight to the point. I ain't writing an essay =p

One of my expectations in life is just when I have problems is just someone to listen. Since they're my closest people in my life, I selfishly expected them to listen and give advice LATER. But never I would expect that they would just joke about it or straight away give me an advice without knowing what the hell was going on.

"Just slap her with your credit cards! Mess with a rich girl!"
Like I wanted to slap you with my heels? What's dad's money got to do with this? The hell!

"Fuck it, let's go shopping."
The worst worst advice.......

"I'm so pissed off!"
"What? What's wrong?"
"You see, this girl..."
"You know, I'm always here for you if you want to talk."
"Yes, I have a prob...."
"I know what, let's call our friends and hang out! Forget about your problems, just enjoy life! You are strong."
"But.."
Then this person's gone.

I get it that maybe they tried to make me laugh or feel better, but please do it AFTER I told you what my problem was about. Somehow it stung like crazy. While I laughed with them, silently I wanted to scream, "NOT FUNNY! IS THAT ALL WHAT I MEAN TO YOU? SOME WORTHLESS JOKES??!!!" I know my problems were nothing compared to the world's problem, but were they really unimportant? Seriously, the people that I loved, hurt me the most.

Sigh, so if that all the reactions they gave it to me should I just stop expecting? Funny, suddenly the words, "Always expect the unexpected." HA! Don't they make it the expected then, if you expected them to happen??

Should I just start expect you to hurt me? To make me feel worthless and important? Coz really, maybe then it would come out the other way round.

If that really how life goes, then maybe I should just start building those walls around me again.

Road rage.......

I was feeling it again. For some reasons that must be idiotic, people today drove like maniacs. Cutting here, speeding there, sudden breakings, unexpected turnings, etc. I wanted so bad to punch that "horn" sign on the steering wheel. Too bad I could get a ticket for that.

I gripped my steering wheel, trying not to scream Ludacris' song, "Move, BITCH! Get out the way!"

Crazy drivers! If you're testing my patience, today is SO NOT THE DAY!

I hate downtown.

Damn it!

I can't keep on doing this.

I can't keep on explaining every step that I take.

The thought that if you think that any step that I take is wrong then there must be a problem in our relationship.

I can't handle your paranoid thought.

Grow up.

"Hey, CN, how did you welcome New Year?"

"With a bang!"

Literally a bang, coz I fell down. It happened so fast that even my brain hadn't caught up yet with my body. As my right leg hit the floor with all my weight resting on it, my brain went, "Whoa! Wha..??!!!" It hurt like son of a bitch.

Why did I fall down?

Don't ask.

But anywhoo, now my right leg is bruised up. Didn't surprise me since I've always been a klutz my legs unconsciously often meet the table, the wall, the door, etc.....I have a lot of blue-blacks on my legs. Maybe that's why I always wear jeans hueheue.....

Anyway, I just got the picture of New Year's Eve. We're in front of Joe's Crab Shack, a seafood restaurant before heading out to Downtown Disney to see the fireworks.

Hey,

I have no idea when you just messaged me saying only, "CN!" when I was either out or sleeping. I couldn't reply because you're no longer there. I sent you a lot of SMSes, don't blame me that you didn't get any of that.

Don't complain to a lot of people that I never replied your messages because I fucking didn't get them.

Don't blame me too for not replying your SMS. Who'd reply when what I got was, "CN, helpppppp!!!"

I had no idea it was you!

Damn it!

It was raining on New Year's Eve...

So Icha and I decided to have dinner first at Joe's Crab Shack with Robert, Ronald, Aswin, Revian, Anggie and a gal whose name I forgot (sorry!). By 9.30 we finished eating and started wondering where to go because according to the weather report, it would rain until much much later. The ideas went from going drinking, playing computer games, to playing a board game called Battle of the Sexes. I thought the idea was great because there were 4 girls and 4 guys. At least it sounded great until someone asked, "Who has the game?"

Silence........

Great!!!

We started thinking again. I said, "What the fuck, just go to Disney like we planned. It has stopped raining, at least for now. And if we're stuck in the traffic, at least there are gonna be other cars that are stuck, too. At least we're stuck together, rather than having nothing to do!"

So off we go to Disneyland hehehehehe.

Did the countdown in front of the ESPN big television. They were re-airing the show from New York. A bit confusing, tho coz when the crowd in front were shouting, "10, 9, 8...", the crowd behind us were already screaming, "5, 4, 3...."

Then the fireworks began for, like, 5 minutes, then when it's over, and we finished hugging all of our friends, we ran to the parking lot before we got stuck, fighting our way thru the traffic.

Sadly?? After that we had nowhere to go. Hahahaha.....*pathetic laugh* Spent a night at Icha's place because it was foggy and I was too lazy to go back home.

So.......that's how I spent my New Year. Sad, huh???