It's Monday again. Holiday's over, time to go to work. It would be easy breezy if I wasn't feeling tired all the time. It feels like I haven't slept for 3 days. Even though I slept late (like 6 in the morning) and woke up at 1 or 2 in the afternoon during my holiday, I always woke up feeling so tired. Up til now I still am.

So today while writing checks for this month's salaries, I made 2 mistakes. Instead of writing Rp. 25.000.000,- I wrote Rp. 5.000.000,- which of course was easy to correct, if only I hadn't written in words. Two pages of the checks were gone bye bye.

And today, too, I fell asleep on the sofa in Andi's apartment while waiting for them to return from showering after swimming.

Everything moves so fast, while I feel like I'm the one who moves slow. It's like watching everything moves in slow motions, I'm trying to catch up, and life's just passing me by.

....and no, I'm not on drugs.

Time, would you please just stop for a moment? I don't want the past, I don't care about the future, I want this present. I want the world to stop revolving right now. Now, when I'm lying next to him, when I can see his face so close. Now, when he opens his eyes and smiles, then he just pulls me right into his arms. Now, when his arms are around me. Now, when he goes back to sleep, still holding me.

Time, you probably wouldn't understand why. But this moment is very precious to me. So simple, yet so meaningful. Because this is the only time that he would hold me without letting go. Because this is the only time I know that everything is real. Because this is the only time I feel everything is at its place. Because this is the only time I feel so safe and comfy.

Time, please stop moving. Don't tell the sun to rise yet, don't let the moon get out of your sight. It's way too early. Let the world enjoy the silence, because when everything is bright, nothing can be heard.

Time, don't let your hands tick. Not yet, let me enjoy this moment now. Because maybe, when the morning comes, everything will never be the same again. Because maybe, this moment would never come again.

For someone who's sick and seems so far away.....

Hey you
Get well soon
Talk to me again til I go to sleep
Let your voice again be the last thing I hear before I close my eyes
Hey you
I miss you
I miss your nags
I miss your complains
I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
Your half-smile
I miss your naive-ness
Hey you,
Please recover soon
My world feels empty without you
Even though you're not with me 24/7 when you're healthy
Even though you don't care about me like I care about you
Even though you don't think about me as much as I think about you
Hey you,
Complete me
Get well soon
Color my world again

Sometimes, I'm so tired to go on living. Even standing here is so tiring. Once or maybe twice I try to glance to other people, seeing what I'm doing wrong living my life. But everybody's the same. Dead.....they're dead without even realizing that they don't breathe anymore.

Maybe in between this empty and dead space, where everbody is living zombies' lives, I'm trying to live.

After seeing how the hospitals in Indonesia treat their patients, no, treat PEOPLE........and the expenses that aren't even worth it, I'd rather die than set my feet on crappy Jakarta's hospitals

Cuplikan gak penting.........

When we (as in me, roommie, Indah, my uncle and Om Budi) picked Dad up from Hyatt Hotel, I noticed a box in his hand.

He just handed me that box when I asked him what was that. It turned out to be a wedding invitation. Huh....just a piece of paper, with the place and time and the names of the bride and groom written on it, and the paper was put inside a box. A big box, in fact, that my Dad thought that his friend was giving him a box of mooncake. Go figure.

So I opened it and read the invitation. A really nice invitation, to be honest. But yeah, the box had got to go. Or better, maybe they should've just put that invitation inside a thinner box.

Anyhoo..........As I was reading the poem on the box, I laughed and pointed it out to my roommie.

Heard this old song when I was waiting for Dad to finish lunch meeting with his friends. I was sitting around the sofas near the Giordano in Plaza Indonesia when this song came on from the speaker above me. Loved it right away and now I can't get this song out of my mind.

"All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I'm officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you

Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially

All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That I'm officially missing you

Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you

It official
You know that I'm missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I'mofficially missing you"
~Tamia - Officially Missing You~