There are just too many thing to say right now. But I'm just too tired now, my head feels like splitting into halves. Cursing might seem a good idea now.

But what I really feel inside is this hatred toward you. How can a guy be so ignorant?

But I guess you just don't really care now.

And I'm just too tired to fight.

The difference between Taman Anggrek Mall and Plaza Indonesia is...........in TA, you see a nanny/maid/car washer/cook taking care of 3 children when they go out. 1 person, besides the mom, taking care of the children. Meanwhile, in PI, you see a baby being taken care of 2 specialties nannies. 2 PERSONS, not including the mom if she ever takes care of the children, for 1 BABY.

What's wrong with this?????

Merry Christmas everyone.

When I'm walking in the mall...I don't get this new phenomena....

A guy carrying his girl's bag.

Not the shopping bags..but literally her bag/purse.

I mean, is it too big for her body to handle? Or is the bag too heavy for her? Or is he punished? What did he do so that the girl could say, "The punishment is you...carry my bag!" Is is humiliating for him? No?? Or did he get tricked to, "If you love me, you'll carry my bag."???

I know chivlary isn't dead. But this is getting ridiculous.

If you can't carry your own bag, for whatever reasons, don't buy it!!!

My resolution for the New Year........Daaaammmmmnnnnnn, is time already?!!!

1. Go to work early. As in seriously 9 to 5. Work starts at 9, CN, not at 10.30 kikikiki...

2. Stop lending people money. You know how it is, "Hey, I kinda need cash right now, but I'll pay you back!" and I'd go, "How much?" Stop being such a nice guy, CN!!!!

3. Get a sidejob. What I'm doing right now, is not enough. I like to be more productiveeee.

4. Go to LA. Need more explanation?

5. Budgeting, baby.

6. Stop buying jeans. I have dozens of jeans, and I only wear 2 of my faves. 2!! From, like, 30!!!

8. Read more. So I don't freeze up whenever dad asks me about the world.

9. Watch the TV series that I've downloaded. The space in my computer is running out because I keep on downloading, but haven't touched a thing. Except CSI of course. Note to self: Remember to burn it into DVDs or at least, ERASE it.

10. Be more patient. Jumping off the 5th floor is not a solution.

Tagged.......you're it.

It's Christmas time again, if you didn't realize. It's kinda hard to miss, especially with the writing "MERRY CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR" on the windows of the stores in the malls.

I miss the real Christmas. I don't like celebrating Christmas here in Indo. Maybe it's the overrated sales in the malls, maybe it's the overexpensive gifts that will be handed, maybe it's the countries that the riches will be holidaying, maybe..whatever. It's too material here.

I'm not saying that it's not happening, too, in LA. Christmas is the for the overtime workers trying to meet up with the demands, long hours, crazy shoppers....I'm getting a deja-vu. But at least, LA-ers decorate their lawns with Christmas ornaments, Santa Clause, sleigh rides, raindeers...they do go all out. Even if it means a competition to try to outdo their neighbors. For having the best decorations. They even have carolling. Again...whatever...

When it comes to Christmas Eve, the family gathers around, laughing, drinking Eggnog, just enjoying each other's company. But here, what I found, was just emptiness. Everybody seemed to be out of country. Singapore, England, Hong Kong, Australia, Japan...around the world. "You spend holiday in Indo?" you scoff, "It's so....ugh...pathetic!"

I'm trying to understand that if people in Indo decorate their lawns, not many people will see because their gates are as high as the trees. If it's not to show-off, it's quite useless, I tell you. And carolling? Sure, if you want to increase the rate of kidnapping here. So maybe I'm being unfair and judgemental against Indo-ers when it comes to Christmas.

But I miss driving around at night, enjoying the Christmas feeling on their lawns, when it's quiet and cold....and nothing else matters. Just me and the lights. And when the song says, "Silent night...holy night..." it means literally. No honking, no motorcycles, no stupid people playing dangdut songs...........just silence.

You could say that I'm not trying. Maybe I should have a Christmas party and gather my family around. Get this, my mom is in Singapore, and my dad has his other family. Mom and dad are not talking to each other. Gathering them means war. Hey, you might as well pass the alcohol, then maybe we'll have a good time. And nobody would remember the next day.

I get depressed during Christmas, I don't know why. I can find comforts in LA, but not in here. Anybody cares to tell me why?

Since I found a bittorent called Azureus and a website called btjunkie (actually roommie introduced them to me), I've been downloading (yes, yes sue me) Bionic Woman. It's a TV series in US, and I've been dying to watch the series but Indo hasn't aired them yet. Anywayy...now that I've stolen 8 series, and I have to wait once a week for the new series to come out, I have nothing more to download.

Until one Thursday night, 9 p.m exactly, I watched Grey's Anatomy on Star World. Got hooked on it, until I found that it's already Season 4. Went to btjunkie to download, but my curiosity got the better of me. I wasn't patient enough to wait for downloaded files, so I bought the DVD. Original ones...again, I wasn't too patient to wait for weekend to come and for my guy to come to take me to Glodok.

Cost me Rp. 600.000,- for Grey's Anatomy Season 2. The only DVD I could find. T_T

Broke as hell......

Damn youuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!

Many people called me up yesterday and asked, "Didn't you ask your dad why he wanted to pay for your trip expenses?"

Aren't you ridiculous?

When your parents say, "Hey, if you want, you could go to US for a vacation, and I'll pay for everything." Did you go, "Why?" while eyeing him suspiciously and squinting??

Unless, of course, I was a little piggy and my dad told me that I'd be going to a market.

I'd run for my life.

Went to get US' tourist visa today. Acually I was too lazy to get a new one because when I thought about waking up wayyyyyyyy early in the morning, then lining up, then those irritating questions during the interview...I wanted to just curl up on my bed sleeping. I KNOW, because this was the third time I went to the embassy. The first two were for my student visas. Now that I'm back here for good, the visa is invalid and I have to use tourist visa the next time I travel to US. I've been putting off the appointment as long as I could since I wasn't planning to go to US anytime soon anyway.

Alas, I couldn't dodge it anymore when one day my dad said, "My friend and his wife are applying for visas, why don't you get it too, so that he won't get lost and confused inside?" Cue the thunder and flashes. So I dragged Dita to apply for one, too. Hehehehe...what a way to spread my misery around.

So, today I unwillingly woke up at 4 and my dad picked me and roommie up at 5.15 in the morning. Dang, I could wake the rooster now. The sun hadn't even risen, yet. But there I was, inside my dad's car going to the office because that's the place to meet his friend and wife.

Arrived at the embassy at 5.40 and people were already there, under the train's track, lining up. So we made a beeline behind them, with folders in our hands, and began complaning how we're still so tired and sleepy and we couldn't stop looking at our watches, hoping magically it would speed up the time.

Finally we could go inside, no problem at the cashier and with the forms. One guy in front of me didn't know that he's supposed to pay in Rupiah, instead he brought Dollars. So he panicked and told me that he only brought Rp. 600.000,- so I told him I could help him for 400 more. He said that he would give me US$100 for Rp. 400.000.-!!!! Was he kidding?? Out of stupidity, I told him it was okay and he could transfer me back when he got the time. Somehow the price was too cheap. Or maybe I was too stupid to not to take it. Anyhoo.....

Things go smoothly until the interview. Roommie and I were interviewed together because we wrote that we're travelling together. This was when hell began.

The bitch: So why are you going to US?
Roommie and I: For holiday.
Bitch: The company paid for you?
R + I: Yup.
Bitch: Why?
R + I: What?
Bitch: What did you do to get the company to pay for your trip?
Roommie: Incentive (while I was thinking, what the hell is incentive).
Bitch: So what did you have to do? Reach some sales point or something?

Halt, we couldn't lie because I wrote that I was a secretary and roommie was the finance manager. None of us did sale. And that's the truth.

Roommie: Well I've been working there for 2 years.
Bitch: So anyone working there for 2 years get to go to US, expenses paid?
Me: (getting desperate, so I thought I'd just give her the simplest answer) See, my dad owns the company, so he's paying for the vacation.
Bitch: Ahhhh.....why is she getting paid, too?? (pointing to roommie....makes sense)
Me: Because he wanted to?
Bitch: So, what company is this?
R + I: Crude oil.
Bitch: So, you as the finance manager, what's the annual sale?
Roommie: (blurted out some numbers, I couldn't hear because I was thinking of ways to kill the interviewer)

At this point, we're getting hopeless. We thought, shit, we're gonna get rejected. But then that bitch flipped over our passports and found our old student visas and she began asking about our school blah blah blah. After feeling like an eternity, she told us to get our passports on the 10th! YAyyyyyyyyyyyyy we got the visas. Then roommie and I got the hell out of there as fast as we could because it was the friend's turn to get interviewed.

Not so good for my dad's friend and his wife, though, because their visas were rejected. I thought the bitch were already too suspicious that the company was TOO kind to pay for 4 people's vacation expenses. Thank God we didn't get interviewed at the same time. We're afraid that if she wanted to reject one, we ALL would get rejected. Or maybe she's just being a bitch because half in our line got rejected, too. We thought maybe she just got dumped and just slashing out on us.

See, the irony was, the one who really wanted to go to US was the friend's wife. She was really planning to go to US with her friends. But then her application got rejected, while my roommie and I were just there to accompany them, and yet we got the visas. Maybe having been to US for studying last time helped.

BUT THANK GOD I don't have to see her face for another 5 years.

But for now, I'll catch up on my sleep.