Crazy Day

2012-01-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

testing

2011-12-08T21:33:00.000-08:00

Went to the doctor on the 6th of December, and this is what a 4-month old fetus looks like. From the side it's cute, just don't see it from front side. Luckily I could stop myself from saying, "OMG why is it like an alien??"

My weight at that time was 39.4 kg. Baby weighed 100gr something.

Anyway, doctor said 80% it's gonna be a girl. I'm still hoping she's wrong. Can you imagine the accessories and cute clothes for girls??? *money flies away*

All this really still doesn't change me. Ask me if a baby is cute, I'll go, "...yeah" while in my head goes, "meh." But ask me if a puppy is cute then I'll squeal like crazy going gaga. Oh well, brain wires in a different way.

I guess will update again when I go to the doctor next month.

2011-11-29T23:50:00.000-08:00

So after going to 4 months, finally I can say it. We're pregnant!! Although I don't get the "we" part. Why would a couple say, "We're pregnant!" and yet it's the woman who has the morning sickness (or all-day sickness as I call it), backache, headache, bladder problem, tiredness, bloatedness (is there such word), stretch marks, etc etc etc. You would think at least the enlarged breasts are the perks. Not really. Seriously.

And of course, the first 2 months, it's certainly not the man who get ultrasound through your VAGINA. And it muthafucking hurt.

The only thing man complains is probably no sex.

For me, it went like this.

1st month: tired and sleepy all the time, whole body was sensitive, in a bad way.

2nd month: nauseous all the time. Ate a bit, threw up a lot. Drank a bit, threw up a lot. Moved a bit, threw up a lot. Slept a bit, threw up a lot. Lost 3 kgs. Yay me. Not. Seriously not enjoying the feeling of helplessness lying down all the time. Must trouble mom to cook for me every day.

3rd month: throwing up subsides. BUT! If I eat ONE NORMAL PORTION, I'd throw up. So I'd have to eat half portion, wait a while, then finish the rest. Drinking must be also be done slowly. if I chug something, I'd throw up everything. Must. Eat. Or. Drink. Slowly. And will pee every 2 hours. Cousin said, "It will get worse as your belly get bigger coz baby rests on the bladder." Thank you.

Going on 4th month: mood doesn't improve. I'm not a patient person to begin with, now it's even worse. I snap easily now. My mantra is now, "Inhale, exhale."

I still don't know the sex of the baby yet. I want a boy, because there are more accessories for a girl, it will bankrupt me. Ask my niece, see how many things I have bought for her.

But many people say, "From your face, I think you're having a girl."

Which I don't get. I mean, I am a woman. I should have a female face, right??? If I'm having a boy, will my face turn masculine?? Explain it to me, please.

And now there are many people say, "Better have the second child fast." What am I? A baby-vending machine?? One kid, one dog, one husband. Enough for me.

Anyhoooooo....

Having another doctor appointment on 6th of Dec. Will update.

2011-08-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

If one day you feel like crying, call me
I don't promise you that I can make you laugh
But I can cry with you

If one day you want to run away-
Don't be afraid to call me
I don't promise to ask you to stop
But I can run with you

If one day you don't want to listen to anybody
Call me and I promise to be very quiet

But if one day you call and there is no answer
Come fast to see me...
Perhaps I need you

~If One Day - Anonymous ~

2011-08-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

Fasting month has started, so far I'm free from all those stupid people who put the "I'm fasting, I'm tired so I have the right to be slow and stupid coz I haven't eaten." face since I'm in Singapore. Haven't interacted with people outdoor and bringing Mica out doesn't count (geez, I sound like I live in a cave).

Haven't driven out yet and haven't fumed to death because people drive so fucking slow.

Haven't communicated with any customer service so my temper is still fine.

So far so good.

Happy fasting anyone...

2011-06-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

A new beginning. A new phase in life. A lifetime promise to fulfill. A new journey. Together with you...

2011-05-05T23:31:00.000-07:00

Saat2 ini, mungkin gw lg merasa egois, atau merasa ingin memiliki atau apalah, dan mungkin juga bagi dia, gw ini hanyalah tempat mengisi kekosongan atau kebosanan atau apalah, dan mungkin juga dia lebih suka mencari sesuatu yang bisa diperbaiki, seakan mencari apalah....mungkin juga gw yang gk mau mengerti.

Apa sih sebenernya arti seorang sahabat? Lost one, gained another, dan setelah kehilangan lagi, gw merasa, cukup kali yah untuk mencoba. Merasa capek juga untuk bertanya ini masalahnya di dia apa di gw? Atau mungkin juga dia kebetulan ada disaat gw butuh? Tapi bukankah itu arti sahabat? Selalu ada di saat gw butuh dia atau sebaliknya? Sayangnya, mungkin ini menjadi gw yang selalu ada di saat dia butuh, tapi ketika keadaan dibalik, well, dia terlalu sibuk untuk gw atau mungkin ada yang lebih penting daripada gw. Gw sebagai sahabat juga harus lah mengerti ya? Tapi sayang, gw ini bukan penganut "kasih itu tidak mengharapkan kembali" karena gw ini ya, hanya manusia biasa. Ternyata gw ini memang lebih percaya ke pepatah "hilangkan ekspetasi, dan kamu tak akan pernah kecewa".

Jadi ya, cukuplah. Terkadang gw memang membangun dinding di sekitar gw. Tapi itu bener2 bukan buat cari tau siapa yang mau meruntuhkan itu dinding. Tapi memang bener2 gw MALAS untuk percaya lagi. Jadi biarlah gw ini dianggap ratu es yg gk punya hati atau semacamnya, ya terserah lah. Mungkin memang lebih baik mereka yang menebak2 sendiri ketimbang gw yang menjelaskan kenapa gw begini. Toh akhirnya semua sama saja.

Anggaplah gw memang berhenti berharap. Sekali lagi, mungkin gw yang terlalu cepat menyerah untuk mencoba lagi. Atau mungkin ini yang mereka bilang, "Reality sucks"

2011-02-06T22:53:00.000-08:00

Happier Life To Live

Therry tagged me to write about my guide to life, which is why right now I'm in front of the computer pondering what to write since I'm no expert. But I'm gonna do my best!!

You can't please everybody. Do what you think is right and the right people will understand. If you keep on listening to what others have to say, you're gonna die slowly inside. You're a not a robot, do what you want to do. Be happy. Remember, it's your life that you're living. Not them. Plus, they who usually tell you what to do, are not satisfied with their own lives.

Just say what you wanna say. Don't just stand there and whine later. Moment's gone. Move on.

But don't be rude. "I really don't like what you did to me..." is different from, "You have a butt ugly face!" Saying "Please", "Thanks", "Excuse me" won't kill you. Unless of course the sentence is, "Don't kill me, please."

Don't talk about people behind their back. Like I said, if you don't like it, say it. If not, bite your lips but don't bitch about it behind their backs. It's rude and it makes you the bad person. A real friend doesn't do that. You don't want other people to do it to you, too.

Don't sweat the small stuffs. Yes I know, they can build up to a big things. But you should know sometimes there are things that you can just ignore. But if you start thinking too much about useless things, when are you gonna start living? Just swear some "fuckyouveryverymuch"es and move on with your life.

Have an open mind. There are various of people living in this earth. This is not your own world. They have different kinds of people. The straights, the gays, the bisexuals, etc etc....they're not diseases, don't put a distance because they're different from you. Oh and please, if you're a guy, don't be scared if your friend is gay and please don't start the he's-gonna-like-me discussion. They have standard, too, you know. You might not even be his type. Bah.

If a friend backstab you once, don't complain if s/he does it again. A true friend won't do that. Heck, if my friend does it to me, I'm not gonna be friend with her anymore. What am I doing? Waiting for another slap?

You know they say "Forgive and forget"? Always know that there's saying, "I'm not God and I don't have amnesia."

Money is not everything. Don't choose your friends based on that. But I'm not gonna be a naive person, you're dead when you have no money. Love can't buy food. You need food to live. Sorry for the harsh reality.

Both men and women, are not mind readers. Don't expect them to know what you're thinking and sulk when they don't get you. Your mouth? Use it.

It's okay to like animals more than humans. Animals don't judge you like humans. I think humans are sometimes too selfish and cruel to think that animals have no brain and their lives worth shit. In my humble opinion, I'd rather save an animal than a human. So sue me.

If you t¥p3 L!k3 tHis or "sypa niy?" or "dy", I'm gonna shoot you. Buy a dictionary to learn the proper writing. Don't waste your parents money, learn something in school. At least, LEARN HOW TO WRITE, DAMMIT!

Hm...somehow this Guide To Life is more about My Own Rant? =p So what's your Guide To Life?

2010-10-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

So many things to say, yet so many things you won't believe. I wish I could say the smart things, the right things, yet you won't believe me. In the end, you'd only answer, "It's so easy for you to say now that you've found your happiness." But did you forget that I was there before? That I was hurt by love? Angry at love? Pissed off at Cupid because his love arrow wouldn't work? Did you forget all those time I was wondering a thousands of whys? All those countless tears? That I was angry at those people who would easily say, "Don't worry, you'll find love again." and I always asked back, "WHEN?"

Did you??

So many cliche things that you might not want to hear now.

"Love will find you when you're not looking." (but I want to find love)

"You haven't found the right person yet." (when?)

"Go out and meet new people." (yeah right, like it's so easy to do)

etc...

All those stuffs that you won't believe now. You will. Just not now, not when your heart is still in pieces.

But just remember this. As life goes on, your heart will mend. You will love again. There's no guarantee that your heart won't break again. But it will heal, and it will love again. As long as you don't stop trying.

2010-08-09T00:05:00.000-07:00

"It's good to be an independent person, but sometimes I just want someone who's brave enough to take care of me every once and a while."

2010-08-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

"It's late and I'm feeling so tired
Having trouble sleeping.
This constant compromise
Between thinking and breathing.

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't seem myself
Couldn't I blame something else?

Just don't say I'm falling in love

Some kind of therapy
Is all I need
Please believe me
Some instant remedy
That can cure me completely

Could it be that I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't seem myself
Couldn't I blame something else?

Just don't say I'm falling in love
'cause I've been there before and it's not enough
So nobody say it

Don't even say it
I've got my eyes shut
Won't look, oh
No, I'm not in love

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
I'm falling love
Tell me I don't seem myself good enough for something else

Just don't say I'm falling in love
Falling in love
Just don't say I'm falling in love
Oh, yeah
Falling love ooh
Oh, oh, don't say that I'm falling in love, don't say that, oh
Just don't say that I'm falling in love, yeah
Just don't say that I'm falling in love
Don't say but in the answer
'Cause I'll never give in
Falling in love"
Corinne Bailey Rae - Trouble Sleeping

Song came up when I put my songs in shuffle. I remembered I got this song because one day I seriously couldn't sleep while I was in LA. I was searching articles about trouble sleeping and how to cure it when Google led me to this song.

It's simple and catchy, and it reminded me when love was still pure and innocent. When love was just love without having to explain why. When love was just something to be felt from deep inside. When love made you smile upon hearing his name. When love was just a simple happiness when hands were held. When love made your heart skip a beat when you saw him smile. When love hadn't been twisted around and poured with too many dramas.

Just a simple feeling. Love.

I thought that such kind of feeling had become extinct.

Yet you reminded me such thing still exists.

Because that's how I feel about you =)

2010-07-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

Today is Dad's birthdayyyyy, and as usual we're treating the office for lunch in Sumibian. And as always, Dad fought with his wife, scolded Sam, and I have to think of things to say and discuss to him so his anger will subside.

Yay....not.

2010-07-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

Today Dad asked me if I'd marry baby and move to Singapore. He said it very casually but I almost choked on my coffee. I asked him back why, because I have no idea what to answer. It turned out that Dad was planning to sell the company and buy Probesco and I'd be there to handle it until it goes public and so on. But if I'm going to Singapore, then he'd just sell the Probesco once it goes public.

What??

No pressure, my ass!!!!

And since I'm the eldest, I'm supposed to make this decision soon (okay probably not THAT soon) because the next in line would be Sam, who is only 8 and the company cannot wait that long. Gyah.

But I can't just go, "Hey, baby, marry me!" that would send him running for the hill -_-" and asking him that would put the pressure like what Dad's putting on me now. And I want him to marry me because he wants to, not because he has to.

The thing is, I don't want to move there unless we both are ready to take it to the next level. I don't want to leave everything here behind to find that I lose everything there.

Am I being a selfish bitch? Oh nooo.........

2010-05-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

Dear baby,
I never thought I'd fall in love with you.
Yet love proved me wrong.
I never thought I'm capable in loving someone this much.
Yet love proved me wrong.
I thought a vast of ocean would be a problem between us.
Yet love proved me wrong.
I never thought I could love you more than I'm already am.
Yet I love you more and more each day.

Happy one-month anniversary =)

2010-05-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

I didn't plan to fall in love.
But I found you.
And I'm glad I did.
=)

2010-05-11T17:37:00.000-07:00

I saw this from mona's and immediately fell in love with it. It's a quote from Winnie The Pooh.

And this!

“This is my wish for you:

Comfort on difficult days,

smiles when sadness intrudes,

rainbows to follow the clouds,

laughter to kiss your lips,

sunsets to warm your heart,

hugs when spirits sag,

beauty for your eyes to see,

friendships to brighten your being,

faith so that you can believe,

confidence for when you doubt,

courage to know yourself,

patience to accept the truth,

Love to complete your life.”

2010-04-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

I was in a very bad mood a few days ago. When I was driving, this song came out. It's sung by Glee Cast, titled Smile.

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile."

Then I was wondering if this a nudge from a greater power or whatever. Then I asked out loud to the song, "Can I at least punch people? I promise I'll smile doing it."

2010-03-04T23:51:00.000-08:00

"I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light
Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore
I was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold
Like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
All the subways around create a great sound
To my motion fatigue: farewell
With your ear to a seashell
You can hear the waves in underwater caves
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
I feel as if I were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights
I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
We’ll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow

So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time.

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time"
~Owl City - The Saltwater Room~

Soooooooo in love with this song. Probably coz everytime I hear this song, I'm thinking of someone =) Especially when Breanne Duren sings, "So tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love?"

Good news from my cousin. He's awake although he's still delirious. One day he'd be angry, the next day he'd cry, and today he just mumbled his words. Doctor said it's normal for a person who woke up from a coma, but he's making a speedy recovery, and he might recover 100%. So we'll just have to wait for 2-3 weeks. Thank you, God. I've been going to the hospital every day and staying there until he falls asleep.

2010-02-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

This is the suckiest Chinese New Year and Valentine ever.

Friday eaaaaaaarly morning, I was woken up by my mother's phone call. She asked how was I and she said she missed me. I was like, "Didn't I just see you a few days ago?" She didn't want to tell me why. When the call ended, my cousin L called me and complained that our aunt was so strange. She kept on asking her where she was and she would tell her what's going on LATER. Weird.

Then seconds later, I received an text, saying that my other cousin B, fell from his motorbike and was, still is, in coma. My heart quickly dropped. I immediately called my big bro and asked him what's going on. He just said that B hit his head and injured his half face. I cried like mad. What's worse, it was the day that I was supposed to leave for Kalimantan for Chinese New Year.

I braced myself and acted like nothing's wrong for 4 days. 4 freaking days. It was like hell!! Everytime I would ask for updates from my other cousins about B. He still wouldn't wake up. I had to put eye drops to hide my own tears. Since it's a celebration I couldn't show sadness. Luckily, I'm good at hiding my feelings. It was the worst feeling and holiday ever.

Came today, Tuesday, I finally came back to Jakarta. When I arrived at home, I threw my luggage and flew to the hospital. When my mom and I entered the ICU room and saw him, I was shocked. His right side face was covered in bandages and I could see his right eye was purple-ish. Doctor said that he might lose his right sight. I couldn't help it. I lost it right then. I cried while calling his name, begging him to wake up. He didn't. But when I asked him to squeeze my hand if he heard me, he did!! B's mom told him to open his eye and see me visiting him. He did, for one second, then closed it again. It made me cried even harder.

I teased him about him sleeping through Indonesian Idol (he's supposed to audition yesterday), and I expected him to wake up and said something witty. But he didn't. Yeah, I know it's not supposed to be that simple.

Before I left, I told him that I'd come again the next day. I asked him if he could open his eye for me. He opened one, turned his head and looked at me, and closed his eye again. It's something good, right? Right??

I'm transferring Kerispatih's songs to my iPod, since B likes their songs. Hopefully it helps him.

On other note, I'm still trying to figure it out how he could have fallen. He wasn't drunk for sure, and his friends agreed on that. I'm thinking if he was in a fight or he was hit by something? But I'm gonna find out. After I do, that person's gonna be sorry!!!!!

Okay, going to sleep. I'm very tired. Physically and emotionally. I've been having headaches since Friday, and every day, until today, I've been taking 2 Ponstans for each day. Gah.

2010-02-04T10:59:00.000-08:00

OMG...

Today, I called D's esia to ask him about his address. I tried his XL but he didn't pick up. Since it was regarding his father's shoes he's trying to fix in LV, so yeah, I tried his other number.

A woman answered. I thought it was R, D's wife but a bit unsure coz it wasn't her voice. So I was like, "Hi, is David there?"

UW (Unknown Woman): Who's this?! (like very2 bitchy)
Me: This is CN, looking for David.
UW: Who are you?! (really, watch that tone)
Me: Cynthia
UW: You're his what?! (o-kayyy, PMS much?)
Me: His friend.
UW: (start yelling something to a guy, like "I don't know who's calling blah bla blah." apparently she's deaf and stupid)
A guy answered, who turned out wasn't D at all. After the 5th time and he answered, "Huh?" finally he mentioned that he wasn't D. What the fuck. It was a wrong number! You could say from the first time I called!

Heh. I hoped they fought like mad. A crazy jealous bitch and a stupid guy. After like a million time I said it's CN looking for D. AGGGHHH!!

2010-01-27T10:52:00.000-08:00

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
Mother Teresa

2010-01-09T22:04:00.000-08:00

I've been wasting my time on bed, watching loads of DVDs. Quite bored. Wait, no, VERY BORED!!

That's the price you pay for being sick I guess.

I've been sick since Wednesday night. Well actually since New Year, but it was only stuffy nose and I didn't think it could get worse. And guess what, IT GOT WORSE! Couldn't go to the office on Thursday coz my throat was sore and everything I ate, it felt like I was swallowing nails. Not that I have, but I guess that's pretty close to what it would have been. And the migraines wouldn't go away. Took some Panadols (okay, 3) and went back to sleep after informing the office that I was sick.

Woke up around 11 something. Felt better. Showered, then went to the pharmacy to buy Amoxillin for the throat. Ate some lunch, took the med, went to bed and watched TV until I fell asleep.

Woke up again around 6 p.m, throat didn't hurt anymore. Yay...I was cureddd!! Or so I thought. Took whatever energy left of me to the dance practice. I guess sweating helped coz after the practice I felt like I was back on 100%. Again, or so I thought. Went back home happily.

Mom came to Jakarta on that day because she's gonna perform with her friends at Mangga Dua's Sense on Friday. Called her to tell her I was sick but feeling better. My aunt grabbed the phone and told me that she already bought the ticket for me. "So you'd better come!" her words exactly. Grumpily went to bed.

Friday morning.......

Woke up feeling nauseous, forced myself to puke at the bathroom. Drank some water and took Renatac. Again, informed the office that I couldn't go in. Started to imagine the work that I had to catch up. Feeling stressed out. Went back to sleep, had nightmares about the papers falling down on me (yes yes, I know).

Called my mom to say that I seriously couldn't see her singing but wished her well and hoped that somebody videotaped the performance so I could make fun of her later.

Dozed off again after watching some DVDs. Thinking to stop the med but then I started coughing like crazy. Damn, it's like the virus was, "Ha ha, you can't get rid of me that easy!!" Obediently took the med again.

Going crazy staying at home doing nothing but watching DVDs and BBM-ing with my friends. Running out of DVDs at a dangerous speed.

Woke up today, Saturday, and felt healthy. Took Mica for grooming since she already looked like a rug and started to smell like one, too. Wanted to eat bakso but felt lazy eating alone. Went back home and what else....slepttttttttttttt hahahaha. And again, today, I was wrong. Still cough like nuts.

I think the bed has a mold of my body already. Of me, spending so many hours on it. Being sick suckssssssssssssssssssssssss!!! But at least it's raining =) I love the sound of rain when I sleep. Still, I have to stop the urge to run outside and play in the rain.

My plan for Sunday probably just church, and then back to bed. I'm going crazy watching people on TV eating nice nice and delicious foods. D= yearning for a chocolate cake now. Mom and friends are going to Bandung tomorrow til Monday.

Please please please let me go to the office on Monday.

2010-01-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

This happens at the 29th of December, my cousin's birthday at Pacific Mall

*no Christmas tree at home, so the mall's one would have to do*

*me and my cousins*

*teaching my niece how to camwhore*

This is the New Year's Eve Partyyyyy

*phey preparing the grated cheese*

*me and che are preparing the spaghetti sauce*

*sussie looks very happy with the broccoli*

*the feastttttttttttt*

*the mahjong section*

*the Winning Eleven section*

*us on the balconies after watching the fireworks*

2010-01-01T23:22:00.000-08:00

YAY! First entry for 2010!!

Spent New Year's eve with my friends and cousins at my place. We bought a 7kg turkey (Thanksgiving too late?) from Chatterbox, made salad and cooked spaghetti. Duck was also bought. And the 15 of us couldn't finish the food >.<

After that the boys played Winning Eleven and the gals played mahjong. And I talked to my cousin while her daughter was hovering me for some Mentos haha.

Around 12, we're all gathered around in the balcony to watch the fireworks from all over the place. Yelled some "HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRR" to my neighbors (the joy of living in an apartment) who were on their balconies, too and hugged my friends.

Photos coming up at the next post.....which I don't know when hahahaha.

So Happy New Year to you allllllll =)

2009-11-24T10:06:00.000-08:00

Everytime somebody tsk-tsks me when s/he sees what kind of food I'm eating and comments, "Why don't you eat something healthier?? You should watch what you eat!" I'm soooooooooo tempted to reply, "It's alright, I don't plan to live that long anyway with people like YOU."

2009-11-10T09:11:00.000-08:00

Being broken heart makes be poetic.

Being broken heart makes me cry at sad songs.

Being broken heart makes me bitter.

Especially when I found out that he deleted me from his Facebook. Should I make a fuss over it? Or just let it go?

Really must move on.

2009-11-01T20:50:00.000-08:00

I'm mourning the death of my relationship. Yep, just broke up yesterday...around this time. Cried my eyes out. There's nothing to do actually.

How long issit to get over a broken heart?

How long can I move on?

How long before I can smile sincerely from my heart?

So tired of faking smiles.

If the expression "cry to death" can really come true...can I really do that?

2009-10-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

"There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me

He may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

Someone to watch over me
Someone to watch over me"
~Renee Olstead - Someone To Watch Over Me~

I'm crazy in love with this song. I've known this song a looonggg time ago, but when I heard it again while watching Fame, I was so mesmerized by this song. It's sung by Asher Brooke in the movie, but I like Renee's version more.

2009-10-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

So finally we performed yesterday. I only managed to take photos of one costume only coz after that, I had no time to take the second one. We're all dead tired and just wanted to go home. But I liked this costume the mostttttttttt coz it's ballet theme and I felt like a princess hahahah *impian jadi balerina yang tak tercapai*

*forgot the title of the song that I was supposed to dance to, but heyyy i was a ballerina for a dayyy*

2009-10-06T21:31:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought my sleep would go back to normal........now I have...SORE THROAT!

Yayyyyyyyy............NOT!!!

It hurts to talk, to swallow, to everything...I can't eat properly now.

Sickness.........won't you go away? I'm performing on Sundayyyy!! Gimme a break, will you?

2009-10-05T23:15:00.000-07:00

Finally my lack of sleep endssssssssssssssss!!!!

It ended when I almost fainted at my boo's apt on Saturday, scaring the hell out of him. Sorry, babe. I was talking to him when I felt a hit of nausea creeping up to my throat and his voice sounded soooo farrr awayyy and I could feel the darkness started to close on me. I had to lie down for a few minutes to make sure that I wouldn't puke.

Geez, the last time I almost fainted was when I was at this flag ceremony while I was in junior high...10 years ago??? Damnnn..

Anyway, when I reached home, took a shower, then zonked out for 12 hours.

Ah, life.....

2009-09-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Freaking sleepy. Couldn't sleep well since last week. I've been sleeping at 3 a.m something and then waking up at 7 a.m. It didn't matter while it was still a holiday last week because I could take a nap in the afternoon. And even if I didn't, I'd still asleep at wee hours. It didn't matter then coz I didn't need to think.

But now that work has started....dangggg I'm cranky all the time. Worse, I fell asleep at 11 p.m something, woke up at 2 a.m, then couldn't sleep again until 5, then woke up again at 6 a.m.

SERIOUSLY?!

I feel like a freaking zombie. PMS-bitching-moody zombie. Who needs to work and interact with stupid CS. Gah.....

And not, it's not that time of the month yet.

I feel like crashing. Or just curl up and sleep and never wake up again.

If only I could.

2009-09-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was stopped by the traffic police in Bunderan HI. I was going to PI from my home, and it said that the road was closed from 16.00-19.00. Mengingat di jam mobil gue masih 3.50 sore ya gue hajarrrrrrrrrrrrrr aja lurus. Eh diberentiin polisi boks.

Dia: Mbak, kalo udah jam segini gak boleh lewat.

Gue: Tulisnya jam 4 kok, Pak. Dan skg blom jam 4.

Dia: Iya, kalo tulisnya jam 4, artinya jam 3.45 udah gak boleh lewat.

Gue: Napa gak ditulisnya 3.45 aja kalo gitu???

Dia: Itu lampu kalo udah kuning berkedip tandanya udah ngga boleh lewat.

Gue: Pak, itu lampu kuning ya dari jam 10 pagi juga berkedip. (Hello, I live in that area, so I should know and remember! Kurang ajar nih polisi cari gara2)

Dia: Jadi gimana ya? (sambil megang SIM en STNK gue) Mbak ada waktu sidang?

Gue: Tilang aja, Pak.

Dia: Hah? Mbak mau disidang aja? Emang mau kemana sih?

Gue: (nunjuk) Tuh, mau ke PI.

Dia: (gk nerimo gue minta disidang, gk dapet duit) Mbak saya kasih 2 alternatif, satu, SIM ini saya tahan, trus Mbak ikut sidang. Yang kedua, Mbak bisa bayar disini Rp. 50.000,- trus SIM ini saya balikkin skg.

Gue: Gak papa tuh, tilang ajaaaaa.

Dia: (bengong)..........

Gue: Abis saya gak bawa uang, Pak.

Dia: Ah yang benerrrrrrrrrrrr (ih mampus deh polisi jaman skg)

Gue: Pak, saya mau ke PI, mau ke ATM ambil uang.....so....tilang aja deh.

Dia: Ng.............ini SIM dan STNK saya kembalikan, jangan diulang lagi ya.

NAJESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Dasar polisi cari2 aja kesalahan, padahal gue kaga salah.

2009-09-24T00:08:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday, babyyyy =)

Love you lots and lots.....

2009-09-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

I've been reading post secret for days to kill time. I envy them for being brave, telling the world about their darkest secrets and all that, even if it's anonymous. But still, they have the courage to admit the truths.

If only I could...

2009-09-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

I snapped the drawer shut....together with my index finger still in it! YESSSSSSSS JARI GUE KEJEPIT! UHUY!

It felt like I'd been electrocuted....not that I have but I guess it'd feel like that.

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

2009-09-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

I've lost my will to update.....don't know why, don't feel like my life's interesting enough lately to tell. Sometimes I update my twitter. But it feels so....blah.

Anyway, I just got back from the dance practice. Yep, I'll be performing on the 11th of October, but this time a group of us will be just background dancers, while this auntie sings. Love the dance coz it's ballet and slow. I, of course, feel like my body's too stiff so my movements look so awkward. Still loving the ballet, tho!!! *impiangaktercapaidotcom* Bella would love to see us dance, for sure.

Oh, I'm going to Singapore from Wednesday to Saturday. My boo is picking me up when I get back, yay! But I feel like I'm troubling him. I usually would just take a cab from and to the airport coz it's easier and I wouldn't feel like a spoilt girl.

Nothing else to update.......gonna stop typing and take a shower...after that, SLEEP!!!!!

2009-08-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

*us before putting on costumes*

*ta-dahhh!! kacanya mau dibersihkan, Pak?*

YAYYY no more dancing and hopping like mad for a few months!! I hope?? Anyway, I'm gonna miss my dancing friends coz I don't think we're gonna have any practice for while...

2009-08-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

Oh God....my body is about to break down from all the practices. Yep, we've been practicing every day for the dancing performance on Sunday. This. Sunday. Eeks.....

And it's not like I'm performing 3 times, like most of my friends hehehehe. But seriously I think I'm gonna be sick soon. Don't feel so good. Migraines, gastric pain, and lack of sleep. How nice life is.

On Saturday I must go to Hailai for the last practice at 10 a.m, I need a massage....one thing that I can't stand coz I'm ticklish. Gahhhhhh! Thank God it's only for an hour....the practice that is, not the massage.

The only thing I'm looking forward is spending my Saturday after the torture with my boo. Yay!

Will post pictures of the performance if there's any. Wait, what did I say? Since we're all narcissists, of course there will be lots of pictures hehehhehe....

But today's special, coz Sussie treated us dinner to celebrate her birthday. We ate at Gading apartement. I had es campur and Indomie goreng....forgetting that my maid cooked. So when I got back home, sayur asem was, still is, waiting for me. Must find a space in my stomach to eat a bowl of sayur asem >.<

2009-07-31T21:21:00.000-07:00

Cooked spaghetti today. And by "cook" I really mean I fried the onion, then added mushroom, and then the minced beef, and finally the tomato sauce with salt and sugar.

THIS was the first time I cooked spaghetti. Humbly I must confess, usually I would just boil the pasta, then pop open Prego (instant sauce) and pour. Done.....hahahahahha.....

But not today.

Don't know what came over me.

Anywayyyyy...........so far no one got sick.

*cross fingers*

Let's see 5 hours from now hehehehhehe.

My cousin wanted to make lasagna. After I spent the night searching for the simplest recipe, she decided just to buy it -_-" she said making one was too complicated. Do-h......

Next she wanted to make Caesar Salad. So there I was again in front of the computer, googling for the ingredients. When she finished reading the recipe, she replied that buying one was easier and faster....even after I suggested to just add Kraft Caesar Salad seasoning to the romaine lettuce if she didn't want to MAKE the dressing. Geh......

2009-07-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

Don't say you love me,
Then leave me
Don't say you love me,
Then ignore me
Don't say you love me,
And be mean the next day
Don't say you love me,
If you don't mean it
Don't say you love me,
If you're not gonna stay
Don't say you love me,
And then take it back

Look into my eyes, say those words, and stay with me...

2009-07-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

Last night I fell asleep around 2 something, then my TV cable went out at 4 something. If you didn't know, I'm afraid of silence, so most of the time I would sleep with my TV on. But last night the quietness freaked me out. I woke up feeling SERIOUSLY scared and quickly was searching for my iPod but then I realized that I left it at my roommie's room, which was at the end of the hall....which was DARK.....and I chickened out.

So I jumped out of bed and turned on my computer to play my winamp.

Fell asleep an hour later.

At 8 something, my maid woke me up because she needed to go visit her cousin who got sick.

Couldn't go back to sleep for a while. I must have dozed off because when I looked at the time, it's already 9 something. Gyahhhhh late for work!!!!

Now I'm feeling cranky and tired....

2009-07-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

Would it kill you to care? Even just for a little?

Would it?!

I feel like talking to somebody who's not there....just an empty space.

2009-07-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

Heard this song when I was watching Telkomsel's ad on TV. Feeling so curious about the song so I decided to Google it (thank God for internet).

"Ajari aku ‘tuk bisa
Menjadi yang engkau cinta
Agar ku bisa memiliki rasa
Yang luar biasa untukku dan untukmu

Ku harap engkau mengerti
Akan semua yang ku pinta
Karena kau cahaya hidupku, malamku
‘tuk terangi jalan ku yang berliku

Hanya engkau yang bisa
Hanya engkau yang tahu
Hanya engkau yang mengerti, semua inginku

Ajari aku 'tuk bisa mencintaimu
Ajari aku 'tuk bisa mengerti kamu

Mungkinkah semua akan terjadi pada diriku
Hanya engkau yang tahu
Ajari aku ‘tuk bisa mencintaimu"
~Adrian Martadinata - Ajari Aku~

2009-07-19T00:59:00.000-07:00

I have been having trouble sleeping for days. I've forgotten when it started.

No, it's not because I'm in love.

I WISH love makes me unable to sleep.

I didn't, still don't, know why, I did try lying on my bed with the lights off, I did try not thinking of anything, I did try listening to some peaceful music..

And the clock kept on ticking. Before I knew it, the sun had already risen and the sky's bright.

So last night I took 2 sleeping pills. Fell asleep around 8 p.m something, and woke up at 11 p.m something. Yesshhhh 4 hours only!!! I woke up groggy. Tried to go back to sleep. Failed. I even tried snacking and drinking hot chocolate.

Finally I had to take another pill to sleep. Amazingly, I woke up at 12.30 p.m something today. Wow......I slept more than 12 hours. Ended up feeling high today.

Did groceries today, even went to PI to buy contacts coz the Optic Seis near my house ran out of Acuvue Dailies Moist. Had dinner with Nancy and Che2. EX was so emtpy, which was so unusal considering today's Saturday. It's either because of long weekend or people were afraid of another bombing in malls. Oh heck, not complaining.

Went back home around 8 p.m something, then Steph asked me out to Starbucks Sarinah. Feeling so tired but I thought, "Hey, maybe if I'm worn out, I could go to sleep without taking anymore pills."

So wrong.

I drank iced latte. At 11 something, we were all went home.

And here I am, fresh from the shower.....can't sleep. Fucking exhausteddddddddddddd!!!!! Will not resolve to Unisom. My clock reads Sunday 12.59 a.m. Am seriously just waiting for my body to give up and crash.

2009-07-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

As I lay me down to sleep
I pray my soul to take
If I should die before I wake
Then it makes no difference to the world I live in

2009-07-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

My momentarily bliss:

Lying next to you, in your arms

2009-07-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

Don't know why, I keep on waking up in the middle of the night feeling fucking hungry. It's so weird, like 3 A.M in the morning! And it's one of those if-I-don't-eat-I'll-go-crazy!

It's been happening since Saturday. Hmmmm must trace back what's going on that day....

2009-07-13T12:48:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning, missing him sooooooooooo much. And he hasn't even left for China yet. Gya gya gya!!!

Went home earlier from the office today. Dad's sick so there's nothing much to do, after I was done with work, I packed my stuff. I think the renovation upstairs is done!!!! It's so quiet here. Maybe it's my turn now to blast my iPod speaker to annoy the people living on the 4th floor just for the heck of it hahahahhaha....

Or I should just change the lamp in the balcony. I hope I won't fall!

Or do something productive...

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Update: Hasn't changed the lamp yet coz it turned out that I don't have a ladder. Won't let my maid change it, coz if she fell, it'd be 5 stories down....yikes.

2009-07-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

Family dayyyyyyyyyy!!!

Going to Grand Indo and Plaza Indo with my cousins. Yay! Will be in Gramed (GI) and then Bakerzin (PI) to have dinner.

Updated: Tried fried oxtail in Bakerzin. Super yummy!!!! The pasta and spaghetti weren't that good, too bland! Will stick to the oxtail from now on.

2009-07-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

It has been a loooonggg dayyy...

I woke up at 8 a.m. Can you believe it that I woke up that early on Saturday. Must be too excited coz today Nyim's family, Benny, him, Junet, Derry, Asiang, and Steph were coming. Jule and Winna (mine and Nyim's maid) planned to cook curry, soto betawi, pete with ati ampla, fried chicken, fried tofu, etc.....

Nothing special really, we're just trying out Munik's seasonings.

Nyim and I hovered around the kitchen to see how's the cooking going while King (Nyim's husband) played tennis. Don't be fooled, we didn't cook, the maid did. We just watched hahahahaha. He came around 6 something, and the rest came after we ate! Do-h.

As you know, since I like salty food, the soto betawi became too salty for normal people to eat. When we took the first sip of the soup, I said, "Wow, asin! Enak!" And they're giving me "Are you nuts?" face. When I looked at him, he could only smile and eat his meal quietly. What's that supposed to mean???!!!

After the meal, I whipped out ice cream and black cincau for dessert.

Full full full!!! Especially when he had to eat dinner with his family first, then he had to eat at my place agai.....oh well. Sometimes I think he's too good for me.

Now, everyone had just left. I am tired but happy to see him.

I'm watching Titanic again on TV...and I can't believe I cry AGAIN! This must be the 6th time I watch that movie!

PS: I think my English is getting worse! Arrrgghhh! I re-read my papers while I was in school and I thought, "Who the hell wrote this?"

2009-07-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

Renovation upstairs is still going on STRONG! GAHHHH!!! It's making me cranky!! And today is soooo the wrong day to opt working at home! Well I was in the office until lunchtime 'til I thought, "Hey, maybe working at home would be more relaxing."

And I have no idea why they haven't finished yet. It's like, haven't you had enough nailing and hammering things?! I feel like shooting the workers with the nail-gun.

Then there are so many cars that are honking. I don't know why, probably the road is jammed in front of my apartment (and it's not helping that my balcony is facing the road and facing the Cikini Station). I wanna scream, "I KNOW YOU HAVE HORNS, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN HONK ALL YOU WANT, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!!"

I should just take sleeping pills and go to sleep since I don't feel like having my lunch.

2009-07-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

I love it when the last thing I hear before I go to sleep is your voice. It makes me feel like you're next to me...

I love it when I dream about you. It makes me feel that you're here with me...

I love it when you hold me in your arms. You make me feel that everything is gonna be okay...

2009-06-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

When you're single: "Kapan punya pacarrrrrrrrrr?"

When you're in a relationship: "Kapan merittttttttt?"

When you're married: "Kapan punya anak??"

When you have your first child: "Kapan anak kedua?"

Are you freaking kidding me?! Apparently, answers like, "Nah, I still like to have hot and steamy sex with some strangers with no strings attached." or "Will you just shut up, you nosy bitch?" don't work anymore.

2009-06-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

Lack of sleep!!!!!

The renovation upstairs is still going on, and I can't sleep. Even though it doesn't go until night but by the time they're done for the day, I'm already exhausted. And the hot weather is making me cranky by day and tired by night. Yep, I'm a zombie-ready-to-attack walking.

And, HE thought I has PMS....GAH!

Can't a girl just has a bad day without blaming the hormone?

Now, if I get back from work earlier and want to take a nap without killing the workers upstairs, I have to evacuate to an empty bedroom for a while. It's at the end of the apartment so the noise doesn't go that far (apparently they're renovating STRAIGHT ABOVE MY ROOM).

I long for a holidayyyyyyyyyyyy!! But noooooo, I'm going to Padang on Tuesday. That means I have to wake up earlier than usual.

GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*butuh dimanja2 lagi*

2009-06-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

"We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything of me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they're tryin to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh,
Oh, oh
Cause we were both young when I first saw you..."
~Taylor Swift - Love Story~

Keep on playing that song over and over again. Love the video. Love it when she sings, "It's a love story, baby, just say yes..."

Just say yes, baby.........

2009-06-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

Ntah kenapa otak suka error...........atau harus di reset ya biar badan ngga otomatis reflek untuk mengerjakan sesuatu?

1. Niatnya mau ke Gading, tapi gue malah nyetir ke Sudirman. Hebat kan? Jadinya gue harus puter balik lagi dengan bodohnya.

2. Niatnya mau ke Abdi Waluyo tapi kok gue keterusan ke Sarinah?

3. Niatnya mau bayar kartu kredit Standard Chartered dan UOB. Tapi abis bayar Stancat kok malah gue cabut en jalan ke mobil? Apa yang terjadi dengan UOB gue?

4. Ke Hero mau beli odol, tapi kenapa gue beli sabun?

5. Di otak udah mikir, "Ke Gramed ah..........." lantas, kenapa kaki gue otomatis melangkah ke food court?

6. Telpon ke Customer Service BII, and instead of saying, "Saya mau cek saldo..." I said, "Saya mau cek e-mail..." He must think I was crazy.

Was I too tired, too sleepy? Or do I 0ver-miss him? (is there such word?)

My cousin's comment, "Cek otak, gih, sana....."

Makasihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ntah kenapa kayaknya butuh bermanja-manja.

Halahhhhhhhh kenapa gue jadi manja???

Going to shower and sleep now.....

2009-05-05T17:21:00.000-07:00

Had a bad headache yesterday. Had to take 3 Panadols and 2 Tylenols to make it go away. Was Indo's Panadol not strong enough or what?

2009-05-05T01:50:00.000-07:00

Found my old diaries when I cleaned out my stuffs at the old house. Just finished reading them. Hahaha I can't believe I was so stupid back then. Crazy teenager's life. School, friends, love lifes.... I wish I had the guts to tell my crushes (yes, there were 2, but not at the same time, mind you) while I was in Singapore about my feelings.

Now, I'm gonna burn them before somebody finds the books and starts laughing at my life.

2009-04-29T11:22:00.000-07:00

Kamu.........yang tak mengerti
Kamu.........yang tak perduli
Kamu.........yang tak pernah mau mengerti dan tak mau perduli

2009-04-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

I'm packing nowwwwww...........leaving for Singapore for 4 days.

Accompany Dad again to the doctor for check-up. See Mom, too, and take my sisters shoppingggg. Then I'll see Mei Hui and Charlene.

I've had the sniffles since Monday. Actually it began from fever and sore throat on Sunday, then it escalated to stuffy nose from there til now. Gah it's driving me mad, especially when I wanted to sneeze SO BADLY yet my nose won't allow me to do that.

I'm thinking to get hair extension....any idea?

2009-04-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

What should you do when the person you have a crush on thinks that you like somebody else?

Explain? Ignore? What should you say?

2009-04-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

Dari Jumat sampai Minggu, gue terdampar di Padang. Kerjaan sih, bukan liburan kesana lantaran bangunna jam 7 pagi melulu gimana bisa diitung liburan yah??? Disana pun liatnya boss2 gue semua X(. Sabtunya ngeliat rumah walet, trus dengan suksesnya sakit maag pas di perjalanan. Minum Renatac udah kayak makan kacang tapi ngga ilang2 jugaaaaaaaa........jadi malemnya di kamar aja, gak ikutan dinner bareng karyawan gitu. Nah dikarenakan TV di kamar cuman dapet stasiun lokal, walhasil gue nontonnnnnnnnnnnn SHITNETRON!

Holy Mother of God......................

Dari nonton apa tauk sampe waktunya Cinta Fitri 2, trus Terlanjur Cinta......OMG banget gak sih itu over banget pelem2nya. And I thought Days of Our Lives and Passions were bad enough.

Anyway, Minggu pagi2 udah bangun, ikut makan pagi bareng bokap en sodara trus balik hotel buat siap2 untuk kondangan jam 12 siang. Sementara itu, gue balik nonton Cinta Sama Cintanya *I've turned into THOSE people!!!* nah pas lagi nonton, ada lagu soundtracknya si Nafa Urbach yang judulnya Wanita Super. Huhuhuhuhu I plead guilty because I like that song. Kata2nya sih ZEBBBBZEBZEBZEBZEB banget di hati.

Minggu malem, sampe Jakarta, langsung ke Abdi Waluyo, trus dikasih obat 3 macem en disuntik soalnya udah 2 hari gue gak makan, lebih tepatnya gak bisa makan. Udah sampe ikutan nontonin Cinta Fitri (katanya seri terakhir) di ruang tunggu RS nya barengan sama suster2 en satpam2.....EHHH MALAH BERSAMBUNG!!! KUTUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Malemnya langsung cari2 lagunya di indowebster.com sambil ngobrol sama Nyim en Eko di MSN. Ketemuuuuuuuuuuu!!

"Pernahkah kau pikirkan aku
Pernahkah kau anggapku penting
Pernahkah kau tanyakan aku
Yang ku mau yang ku rasa yang ku inginkan

Kau mencariku aku ada
Kau ingin cinta ku berikan
Ku lakukan semua mau mu
Penuhi permintaanmu terus dan terus

Aku bukan wanita super
Aku ingin juga kau sayang
Aku ingin juga cinta mu lebih dan lebih

Aku bukan wanita super
Selalu saat kau butuh
Terus sempurna di depanmu terus dan terus
Jangankan aku takkan ada yang bisa

Pernahkah kau mencintaiku
Pernahkah kau menerima
Kelemahan yang aku punya
Karna slama ini untukmu ku begitu"
~Nafa Urbach - Wanita Super~

2009-04-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

The fastest time I went shopping??

Went to Metro TA today. Walked a straight line from Theory X, Arithalia, Chic Simple, and Cavalier while grabbing clothes on my way to the fitting room with my cousin. I tried the clothes, she commented. Returned 2 clothes. Paid 4 pieces. All under 10 mins. I even got to the cashier faster than the salesperson.

GAH. Should learn to stop shopping when I'm stressed.

I'm leaving for Padang tomorrow til Sunday. I have to attend my boss' brother's wedding there. I guess this is my punishment for ditching the weddings in Jakarta. So in return, I have to attend weddings that are OUT OF Jakarta.....huhuhu God, I'm so sorrryyyyyyy.

2009-04-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

I want to fall in love.......I know it's not supposed to be a thing that I want. It'll come when it comes, they say. And then they're busy setting me up with guys....people that I'm not interested because they talk too much about things that they have.

I don't need all that.

I need to feel the butterflies in my stomach. To feel all jittery when I'm about to see him. To feel my heart beats faster when he calls or messages. To feel nervous and stupid when I'm around him. To be speechless when I'm supposed to say something clever. I want my feet to feel like Jell-O when he touches me. To feel his sincerity when he wishes me well when I'm sick. To fall in love.

I guess now love is overrated.

2009-04-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

Stressed because I couldn't sleep the other day, last night I took a couple of sleeping pills. The result??? I slept from 7 p.m to 9 a.m the next day. Scaryyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Woke up to many missed calls and lots of SMS. And since I slept WAY TOO much, I was so tired today. Couldn't concentrate while I was driving, working, or even talking.

Gah! Serasa mati suri.

NOW I have to sleep again??? Really???? *looks at the time*

2009-03-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

Baru kali ini gue ke pesta ulang tahun di 2 tempat berurutan. You see, yesterday was my step-sis birthday and we're celebrating her birthday in Sumibian Chase Plaza. I arrived at Dad's house at 12 pm, and from there, we left together because it was the car-free day, and I had no idea how to get to the middle of Sudirman without going thru Sudirman road. Luckily Dad knew the back road. Yeah yeah, I get lost easily. Lunch was quick because Dad was tired and the restaurant closed at 3 p.m. anyway.

*me, Sam, Dad, Dad's wife, Maria (the bday girl), and Ann*

*me, Sam, Maria, and Ann*

After that, I rushed over to Burger King in Senayan City, where my niece was having her birthday party. I reached there at 3 p.m, and stayed there til 7.30 p.m. I've never been so sick of BK!!!!! I had to stay there because I had to record the whole thing. My arm was tired from holding that camera recorder. The room was kinda small so it's hard to record the whole place. Instead, I'd just focus on the birthday girl, and in the end, which meant that I had to cut off some adults' heads out from the frame. Sooorrrrrryyyyy....Her big brother was a bit jealous of the attentions that she was getting, while she's oblivious to the whole thing and kept on spinning around, dancing princess-style. Oh well.....

*Christabelle with her brother sulking on the corner*

After that, I went home, showered, and went to bed straight away.

PS: Dr. Cissie..........when are you moving to Menteng??? *masih dengan pertanyaan yang sama hahahaha* kan biar perginya gampang, Dok!!!!

2009-03-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

So in love with Secondhand Serenade's Your Call right now. When I first heard their song, I thought it was Yellowcard playing on the radio coz the song was very similar to Only You.

"Waiting for your,
Call I'm sick,
Call I'm angry,
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to
To make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes
What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to
To make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone,
And this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
[4X]

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to
I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to

To make you mine
Stay with me tonight"
~Secondhand Serenade - Your Call~

Btw, anybody know what kind of song is this? Rock? Alternative? What??? Will start playing the CD over and over again in my car.

2009-03-15T16:14:00.000-07:00

Kayaknya bulan ini gue harus berurusan dengan banyak dokter gigi deh. Tapi gue bakal ngancungin jempol ke dokter gigi yang di Gading. I love you, Doc!!!!!! Cuman mahal seh!

Jadiiiiiiiiiiiii hari Kamis itu akhirnya gue root canal......makan waktu 1.5 jam, selama procedure sih ngga sakit (disuntik numb), dan dokternya santai2 ngerjainnya teliti sambil dengerin lagunya Kahitna yang dia setel. Whatever flows your boat, doc!

Cuman pas bayarnya yang baru nyeriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.........di dompet.....3 juta!!!! Tapi ya sutra lah, gue mendingan bayar mahal dikit yang penting bagus en GAK SAKIT (inti dari dokter gigi heheheh). Malemnya malah gue buas makan kerupuk, nasi goreng, telor, coklat, roti, kacang.....bilang aja laper, CN!

Besok2 lagi (yang bakal gue tunda sampe selama mungkin) gue harus balik lagi buat cabut wisdom teeth. Yang baru nongol cuman 2 sih, bagian kiri atas bawah. Kata dokternya udah tumbuh, jadi kalo mau ya dicabut aja, ngga usah operasi. YAYYYYYYYYY again.

On Monday, I'll be going with Dad's wife and my step-sisters to an orthodentist. They're (the daughters) gonna wear brace, I'm gonna need a retainer for my teeth at night. I've had braces, that moment is overrrrrrrr!! Good luck to you, sisters!

PS: I watched Mutant Chronicles on Friday night. Damn, that movie sucked. It's like watching some people fight with zombies. The director probably said, "Hey, let's make it more interesting, how about we change the zombies into some mutants from Mars? Yeah? YEAH!"

YOU SUCK!!!!!

..........meanwhile men are from Mars....(that thought just popped into my head)

PS2: My dancing practice starts!!! I'd be performing the apes washing rice (Mongol dance) in Shangri-la this weekend.

2009-03-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

Today, I braved myself to go to Gading, accompanied by Junet and my personal driver (a.k.a Blue Bird)......off to the dentist we go.

Finding the place was easy, waiting was the hard part. I couldn't sit still, I tried to read some magazines but I didn't really pay attention to the words. This was me waiting at the dentist place. Finally my name was called. Dr. Marzella asked me if I was allergic to any medication at all. I blurted out that I was allergic to pain. NO PAIN! ANTI-PAIN! She laughed and said that even the dentists are afraid getting their teeth checked, then she quickly told the nurse to get the anaesthetic injection ready to numb my gum. After that, I was calm and peaceful............until she told me that the hole was too deep and I have to go thru a procedure called ROOT CANAL! ARRGGHHH.....again??? Yep, I had that years ago. It's like having a deja-vu. She even had this camera (a long pointy thing), showed the hole to me, to prove that she wasn't lying, and really the hole was too deep to fix. Sigh........as long as it's pain-free.

So she fixed my tooth temporarily and told me to come back tomorrow for the root canal thingy. She said the good news was it would only take me a day.....once only. I wouldn't need to come back for a few times like other places. YAY!

Will update tomorrow on how the root canal procedure goes. I'm sweating now! Nervous breakdown part 2!!!!

PS: Biaya nambel....Rp. 625.000 udah termasuk konsultasi dokter (100 ribu), obat kumur buat gusi gue yang luka (25 rebong), suntik mati rasa (100 something), obat......bla bla......yah intinya sih nambel doang mungkin 300 ribuan yah. Tapi gak mungkin kan dateng2 langsung, "Dok, saya mo tambel doang, gak usah konsultasi, gak usah kasih obat atau suntik mati rasa, biar saya teriak2 kayak mo dipotong pun cuek aja....TAMBEL AJA YAH, DOK!" apa jadinyaaaaaaaaaaa??

2009-03-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of dentists. I've been trying to avoid them, I'd rather endure the pain until I have to wake up in the middle of the night to swallow some Tylenols for the headache to disappear.

So today I made an appointment from the recommended dentist in Gading. I've been sweating since.....and tomorrow I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown when I'm about to enter the practice place *hiperbola* but I have to do this because I'm going to eat Tony Roma's on Friday. THAT reason was enough to make me wanna fix my tooth. Hehehheehe..

2009-02-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

Don't you hate it when you have to deal with any customer service?

Like yesterday when I tried to call Danamon to ask why do I get the bill when I never activate my card. It's charging its annual fee. After I got hung up a few times, FINALLY MY CALL GOT THROUGH! Here's the conversation..

Me: Mas, saya ngga pernah aktifin kartunya ya, kok tiba2 ditagih annual fee?

CS: Kartunya dimana, Mbak?

Me: Ya dibuang.

CS: Kalo dipake orang gimana? (mulai nada nyolot)

Me: Kalo udah saya gunting2 gimana? (udah BT gara2 susah banget hubungin CS)

CS: Tetep aja bisa dipake, Mbak. (nada nih-orang-dari-kampung-yah?)

Me: Kalo kartu ngga diaktifin, trus ada orang bisa pake, itu kesalahan dimana ya? (ignoring the fact that someone really must had nothing to do to put back pieces of a credit card, soalnya seinget gue harus samain data deh kalo mo aktifin, nah berarti securitynya jelek, gembel nian)

CS: Kenapa ngga ditutup aja?

Me: Begini.....dulu saya pernah tutup kartu, trus sebulan kemudian saya dikasih kartu baru, ya saya ngga pernah aktifin dan saya buang! Cuman orang bego yang tutup kartu yang ngga pernah aktif!

CS: Kalau ada yang pake gimana?

Me: .................(really???? we have to go thru this freaking convers again?! started to imagine wringing his neck)

CS: Ya saya kan cuman ngasih tau, Mbak.

Me: Ya udah saya juga cuman ngasih tau, KARTUNYA GAK PERNAH SAYA AKTIFIN, MAS CEK AJA ADA PEMAKAIAN APA NGGA SELAMA INI? (idiot, stupid, asshole, fucker and all those animals in the zoo)

CS: Um.........10 hari kerja ya, Mbak, itu tagihan diabaikan aja.

Me: (slammed the phone)

GAH! The credit card surely makes your life easier, but the customer service sure as hell isn't! It makes people turn into psycho killers!

2009-02-14T23:32:00.000-08:00

Stupid thing that I did tonight:

Went to the sink in my bathroom to wash my face. Turned on the tap, wet my face, reached out for my toothpaste and toothbrush, brushed my teeth, sensed a feeling of deja-vu but decided to ignore it. Turned off the tap. Patted my face with towel. Went out from the bathroom. Stopped myself. Went inside back in.

I FORGOT TO WASH MY FACE! AND I ACTUALLY HAVE BRUSHED MY TEETH BEFORE THAT! So I've brushed twice in a row.

Feeling stupid, I turned on the tap, made sure this time I reached for Biotherm cleansing instead of my toothbrush again. Made sure I washed my face this time. Double checked by lathering my face with Biotherm again...just in case. Face felt very dry. Patted my face with towel. Went out from the bathroom.

Blogging about it now.

Am I getting old???

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

2009-02-12T22:48:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to update my blog. I swearrrrrrrr!!!! I thought now that the dance was over, I could have more time on my hands.

But noooooo....I still have to alter my dress. My friend asked me to help at his wedding as a "pager ayu". Don't know what's that in English, but I'll be guarding the angpaos...muahahaha. And then I'm going to Singapore at the end of this month to take care of some properties over there, so I've been busy preparing the documents needed. And of course......

I didn't count on being sick! Flu virus is going on in my office now. My bosses are sick, now it's my turn.

So the dance was fun. I had to do Mongol dance, I was told that Mongol people were rough. Our routine seriously looked like apes stomping while washing the rice. It's no wonder that the audience were just staring. Couldn't make it if it's in awe or "Whaaaa...??"

And the children were leaning against the stage with their hands on it, and I couldn't look down while I stomped around the stage, and you guess it, I stepped on one of their hands. Oh well.....sorrryyyyyyy.......but who the hell asked you to put your hands on stage?!

I'm still trying to forget about that hehehehehe *nervous laugh*

2009-02-03T23:07:00.000-08:00

I was in a very bad mood today. For some reasons, stupid and ignorant people piss me off. Usually I could hold my anger inside, but not today.

My apartment has assigned parking, I have 4 spots. My boss, who lived here before me (the one that I told you that I lived next to), parked one of his car in my spot. I thought since there were only 3 people living in the apartment now, and each of us had a car, the parking space was enough. This morning, I came down to find that my boss had put another car in my spot! He took two!!!! That spot was empty today because Dita took the Jazz to work. I was fuming and decided to let the everyone had it. First, I told the security why the fuck did he let the driver of my boss, who DID NOT LIVE HERE ANYMORE, to park his car IN MY SPOT. And then I called the driver to tell him to remove the car because the Jazz could not get in. He said that it's the other driver who drove the car, and I replied I didn't give a damn, but the car's better be gone when I got back from the office OR ELSE.....

Turned out that my boss hid the car from his son. That car didn't have insurance and since his son did not listen and kept on driving and coming home late at night, my boss told the driver to put the Harrier in MY FREAKING APARTMENT. I said it wasn't my problem, and I was being rude, I knew but I couldn't stop it, "Pak, tuh parkiran Gereja kosong, MESJID JUGA DEKET! POKOKNYA PINDAHIN ITU MOBIL!"

On my way home from work, it was raining heavily and a stupid person was standing next to a puddle waiting for a bus, so WAS IT MY FAULT THAT MY CAR PASSED BY AND SPLASHED SOME OF THE WATER TO HIM?! He had the nerve to get mad at me, to which I replied, "SIAPA YANG SURUH BERDIRI DI DEKET GENANGAN?!" It wasn't that I did it on purpose but the road had only 2 lanes and I had to turn left. Idiot!!!!!!

Came home and found the car WAS STILL THERE!!!

I sms-ed the driver again, complained to the security again. SERIOUSLY! What, no one understood Indonesian language??? I mean, I didn't really care if my boss wanted to put his car in the apartment, but please park it in the guest space or wherever, just not at my freakin spot, where I couldn't park my car!!! The security guard said that it was my boss who used to live in the apartment. I needed to remind him, "Kan udah ngga tinggal disini lagi. Lagian saya ngga perduli, mau menteri kek yang dateng, atau SBY yang dateng, kalo emang bukan mau ketemu saya, JANGAN PARKIR SITU DONG!"

I will key the car if it's still there tomorrow. Or slowly let some of the tires' air loose. Or just call my boss' son to tell him that his car is in the apartment.

I don't care if I'm being a bitch now. Or that this entry is so messed up hehehehehe

2009-02-01T23:30:00.000-08:00

So these are some photos taken before the performance. I was so in panic mode that I messed up in the middle. I was supposed to make a circle to the left, yet I made it to the right, so I stopped halfway and then turned again. At the end of the dance, I stood too forward than I was supposed to. At least my friends came when I finished dancing. HAHAHAHAHA.......they didn't know that my group would be dancing first. I didn't either. I thought we're gonna be the last.

And now, I just hope that I won't screw up again on the 7th. I'm gonna perform twice. GAH! And this time Dad sure would come with everyone. Double pressure!

*me, ucik, pei2, nancy, dita*

*sylvi (teacher), nancy, dita, pei2, me, ucik, che2*

*me and dita*

They all said I looked like Chun Li -_-"

2009-01-30T13:36:00.000-08:00

I'm freaking out tonight!! Today is the day I'm dancing for Chinese New Year celebration in Sun City. My friends joked that they all would be there holding cameras. Dita and I are planning to bribe the bouncer to ban them from entering.

Please, God
Don't let me fall
Don't let me trip
Don't make me forget the dance
Don't let me mess up!!!!!!!!

2009-01-22T23:22:00.000-08:00

I'm not done packinggggggg!! Up til now, what I do is just stare at the suitcase. The only item there is a bottle of lotion. That's to show how unwilling I am to go to Singkawang for Chinese New Year.

Yes, I'm going to celebrate Chinese New Year in Singkawang FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE! And the way I'm preparing things to bring, it's like I'm moving there. It's just that I'm gonna see that GRANDMA again, so I'd better come prepared so she won't find faults in me.

But now, I can't even decide which clothes to bring.

>__<

2009-01-20T23:50:00.000-08:00

TIREDDDDDDDDD!!!! Baru balik dari latihan nari. Cape banget. Sampe sekarang gue masih latihan muter2 itu serampe pake jari kiri dan kanan. Mending muter, yang ada terbang kesini kesana, semoga aja ngga jatoh, atau parahnya, nyambit penonton pas tanggal 30 nanti.

Tangan gue udah pegel, keseleo, dan badan gue lagi demam. Plus bokap dan istrinya bakal dateng nonton.......hueeeee.........under pressure!

YOSHHHH CN, kamu bisaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

*hiperbola, mati tengkurep di lantai*

2009-01-18T22:16:00.000-08:00

I'm not a superwoman
I have a heart
It's not made of a steel
I have feelings, too, you know
I can get hurt
I can cover it up
But it's still there
I smile a lot
So my tears won't show
I laugh
Even though my heart is breaking
I pretend that I don't care
But I can't ignore the agony I feel inside
The mask I'm wearing
Has become my face permanently

I'm not a superwoman
I'm simply a girl
Who has a crush on a guy
Who doesn't see me like the way I want him to
Who doesn't care the way I know he could

2009-01-16T23:38:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks, I've been going to Sunter to see Dr. Cissie. Most people go there for fat loss, but since she offered a product to make my freckles go away, I decided to give it a try. My cousin's friend recommended that place because she lost like 15 kgs, and she wanted to try that product, too. Together with my cousin and aunt (they wanna lose weight), I visited that place. If you live in Sunter, you'd know it better as Cissie, the place for children to learn how to draw.

Anywayyyyyyyy, the doctor told me that she would inject Tation (heck, if you all know what's that, please tell me) twice a week to brighten my skin and the freckles would go away gradually. Since I wasn't afraid of needles, I said sure.

Sure, my ass. It HURT LIKE HELL. Either the doctor was rough, or my skin was too thin, but I got bruises in my arms. First injection was the Tation on my left arm, then it's Vitamin C for the right for every visit. Have to wear long sleeves to cover them up because many people would think I was a druggie who was in an abusive relationship. I jokingly told my cousin that sure I'd be pretty and freckless-free, but I would lose the feelings of my arms. Then I went around asking if they felt pain at all when the doctor injected them, and they all answered yes. It wasn't my imagination.

After the third time, I decided that enough was enough, I wanted to be beautiful, but I might need my hands, too. But vanity got the better side of me. My friends complimented me, saying that my freckles were disappearing.

Soon, I was back to the Doctor.

Things I do...........hehehehehehehehe....

2009-01-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

I fell asleep for 2 hours!! Then I woke up at 11 freaking p.m. P.M!!!! And I can't go back to Lala Land.

Anyway I fell in love with this song when I saw this on MTV.

"Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And a lie's worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And a lie's worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And a lie's worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last change to feel again"
~James Morrison & Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings~

2009-01-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

BACK TO WORKKKKKKKKK!!!

I'm so freakin' tired. I haven't been able to sleep well since last week. It's either I can't sleep and I end up listening to Morning Prayer (there are at least 2 Mosques near my apt), or even if I do sleep, I'd be dreaming weird stuffs, mostly I always run, to somewhere or am chased by someone. When it's time for me to wake up, it's like I haven't slept at all.

CRANKY MODE!!!!!!

I've been trying to take a nap after I get back from work but I always fail. Either my cell keeps on beeping, or it'd be Mica barking, begging for a cold water (she refuses warm water geez) or I just can't sleep! My brain refuses to shut down, let alone to take a break.

Today I tried swimming. I thought hey maybe I could get soo tired then I'd fall asleep. Nice try. I'm in front of the computer now and watching Friends on TV.

I'm starting to think about sleeping pills.

ARRGGHHH

2008-12-18T22:59:00.000-08:00

If you're wondering why I haven't updated for so long........it's because I've joined a group dance. Chinese group dance.....*insert laugh here*.

Yes, it's full of moms who have nothing to do, and the children formed a dance group, too. I got sucked in because my friend is in it, and she asked me to come. I sort of tagged Dita along, and then the teacher asked me if I was serious in joining because they're gonna perform on the January 30. Put on the spot, I nodded right away. It wasn't until the practice was over and my whole body was sore, I asked Dita, "What just happened???!!!!!"

So there I am in Sunter, practice once or twice a week. But when the teacher is here (she's from Surabaya), we're dancing every day.

Now I can't feel my legs.

Excuse me while I lie down and die slowly *being melodramatic*.......

2008-12-04T09:49:00.000-08:00

Won't have much time to blog...my mom and sisters are hereeeeeeeee in Indoooo!!! So far, I've been driving from Menteng to Green Garden to visit them. They don't live with me because all my aunts are in GG, so it's closer and easier for them to go around. They'll be here until the 16th. It's so much cheaper than Indo-Singapore hehehehehe.

It's Christmas again......what's your plan?

2008-11-24T18:22:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, I went for a photoshoot with my friends. They had this idea of gangster, ghost, spooky, creepy thingy of shoots in an half-built empty house in Pantai Indah Kapuk. I told my friends that I wanted to be shot in ugly scary looking, not some yayyyy-I'm-oh-so-pretty poses. So this is how it looks like. It's not finished yet, we're still editing some pictures.

Cool huh?? I like this a lot better than pretty pretty pretty hehehehe. I have pictures of me like crawling out from a well or something, a bit Sadako-ish yet less ruggy, I'll post them later. My internet connection sucks...

2008-11-14T20:05:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with David Archuleta! I've been playing his song Crush in my computer, in my ipod, in my cell...and when I hear his song on the radio, I turn up the volume and smile like a crazed fan. I turn on his song in my room, in the office, anywhere, everywhere....I'm sure it's driving everybody nuts hahahahaha.

Come to think of it, maybe I'm in love with THE song, not with the singer.....hehehehhe

No, it doesn't mean that I have a crush on someone right now.

By the way, I have to correct myself....Obama is biracial, he's half-black. So.....YAY for the first half-black president...

PS: postingan gak bermutu

2008-11-12T21:38:00.000-08:00

They say, as you grow older, it's embarrassing to cry. You know the saying, "Malu ah nangis udah gede."? Well, they're wrong. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You're human, you have emotions, you have feelings....it doesn't matter if you're rich, what gender you are, or how you view life...sometimes, you just need to let go.

So on Monday, I came home from work, closed all the blinds in my room, close my door, turned on the music and turned off my lights.

I cried hard, I screamed out of frustration and anger, I wrote my journal, I laid still on my bed....til I fell asleep.

I woke up sore (probably because I slept in wrong positions), had this weird voice and eyes swollen but feeling better. My problems didn't go away, they do not magically disappear. But at least I woke up feeling the weight on my shoulders had been lifted off. And maybe I could start thinking about solving my problem fresher.

And I could start viewing the world in a brighter way.

2008-11-09T02:25:00.000-08:00

Today I was supposed to go to Mairin's wedding in Mulia, but alas my period had to come today!!!! So I told Dita that I couldn't go coz I really didn't have the strength to wear a dress and put on make up and everything. Thinking about it made me even crankier (yes, I am cranky whenever I have my period because of the cramp).

So I opted for a low-key Saturday by going to dinner with my friends. Couldn't cook anything since I haven't bought my groceries yet, so whenever I opened my refri, only the light greeted me. I went to d'cup (not sure if that's how you spell it). It's a new cafe, my friend's friend opened it and she asked me to come along. It's located away from the strip so nobody knew that there's a cafe there, and the service was FREAKING slow! It took them almost 30 minutes something just to cook spaghetti and it was cold. And the menu's limited, so we had to pass around the menu around the table. It was hot, too. AC was one and it couldn't cool the room enough coz it's too big.

When we finished eating, we decided to stay and play UNO and some cards, and we knew we wouldn't bother anybody coz the 10 of us were the only customers there. As I was staring at my cards, Dita smsed me to say that she met Cin and Wiwin in Mulia. ARRGGHHHH!! I missed the chance to meet them! Had I known that Wiwin would be there, I would have dragged my ass, with pain and all, to the wedding!

Told Dita to take a picture with them....but she replied saying that they have parted ways and she's on her way home T_T.................. -_-"

Crankier now.....going to sleep..........

2008-11-06T23:55:00.000-08:00

Yayyyyyyyy Obama won!!

Finally! A black president! The first one!

I'm yay-ing because this is the first time a black man become a US President. I just hope he doesn't get shot.

Herannyaaaaaaa lohhhhhh gue gak ngerti kenapa Indo ikut2an bangga. Issit because he stayed in Indo when he was a child for a while? Laporan koran2 itu kesannya ORANG INDO JADI PRESIDEN AMERIKA. Please dehhhhhhhh....bokapnya aja dari Kenya. Nyokap Obama merit lagi sama orang Indo, yes, but it didn't mean that Obama is half-Indo. Dia tinggal di Indo juga cuman beberapa tahun, lahirnya aja ngga disini. I sound stupid and bitter? Whateverrrrrrrr...

If I go study to Aussie for a while (which I don't) and then come back to Indo become a first female President....would Aussie be proud? You're insane. Would it matter? Hell no.

Dare to dream.....YES!
Childhood education in Indo is so great that somebody could become a US President...SO NOT!

2008-11-01T23:41:00.000-07:00

I get this feeling that whenever I blog, it must be that I HAVE to complain about something hehehehe.....but really, life's annoying lately.

It started when I went to EX on Saturday (last week) to meet up with some gals to have coffees. As you know, EX was crowded on weekends especially Starbuck's. But hey, we managed to score a table and we talked for hours (more like 2 hours) and then we decided to move to Cascade Mulia. As soon as we stood up, a teenage boy behind us snatched my friend's chair. Not even an, "Excuse me..." or whatever, but I'm talking like LITERALLY as she stood up, he took her chair! As I was known for my mouth (which works faster than my brain), I said loudly, "BUSET DEH SOPAN BENER LANGSUNG AMBIL! GAK DIAJAR SOPAN SANTUN YA?!" at that point he couldn't look at me and my friends dragged me out of there before I started a fight.

Geez....rude people piss me off.

Anyway, Shelle's back to Singapore on Monday and I went to Padang from Tuesday til Thrusday, so that's why I haven't blogged lately (yea rite, excuses excuses hehehehehe). Went to Padang to visit the Walet house. The driver was crazy! He sped up in the mountain and went left...right...left...right.....at a point where I started hallucinating. I thought a saw a cow in a rice plantation from afar, but as we got closer, it turned out to be a farmer bending down planting some paddy (paddies??). Friends laughed out their asses when I told them the story. What a great friendship we have.

Going to sleep now, I've been sick since I got back from Padang. Must be the weather change, too. It rains, then it's freaking hot, then it rains again. So I have fever at night, then I take some cold medicine, am okay the next morning, then burn up at night....repeat...

Yep.....life's annoying.

2008-10-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I told Dad that I needed something more to do coz usually by lunchtime I'd have finished doing my job and would just stare at the wall waiting for the time to go home.

Yesterday, my dad gave me lots of insurance papers for me to sort and take notes of payment and everyting. Dated from 1994. 8 accounts. It's a messsssss!!!

And since yesterday, I've been separating them according to the account numbers, and then sorting them again by dates for each account so I can put them in folders. My table and floor were covered with papers and I've been crounching under the table, and there have been countless time when I bang my head against it.

You get what you asked.

2008-10-22T23:35:00.000-07:00

Yayyyyyyy finallyyyyyy I'm back to the virtual world.

So I've changed my ISP to Indosat IM2. Which is completely the same, coz Indosat is using Fastnet's line to connect. So whenever the connection has any problems, the customer has to complain to Indosat, then Indosat would contact Firstmedia (which is like calling the President's place.....NOBODY FUCKING ANSWERS), then etc etc.

One day, my connection died and just wouldn't connect. I contacted Indosat, they said that my account had been shut down and was given a new number.....so I called Fastnet and they said that my account was no longer active. Called back to Indosat to yell and they apologized and told me they would straighten this with Fartnet, as what Therry would call it.

It took 5 freakin' days for Indosat to update Fastnyet (another Therry's idea) about my new account and there're some steps that they had to go thru to update the data. I heard the security checks in airport was so much faster than the work of Fastnet.

Apparently the Indosat's admin people work only from 8 am to 5 pm (24 hour customer service is only to make you happy that somebody is answering the phone) and Fastnet's admin closes on Saturday and Sunday.

Note to Fastnet.......if you can't handle too many customers and too overwhelmed.....STOP TAKING THEM. OR EDUCATE MORE PEOPLE TO SERVE YOUR CUSTOMERS. Asshole.

On the happier dayssssssssssss............

Shelle's back from Singapore and she's staying at my place coz her parents are in Aussie for a month. So I'd be busy for a week. Having a guest staying at my place is fun, I have things to look forward to when I get back from the office hehehehehe...

Yes, my life's less pathetic for now. Will update soon.

2008-09-16T23:04:00.000-07:00

I'm giving up about Fastnettttttttt!!!!! Seriously!!!! "Yes, Ma'am, you're scheduled for tomorrow. Our techician will come between 1-4 pm."

And never come........

Times five.

I only move NEXT DOOR!! And the signal strength is different HOW?? It's not like I move to ANOTHER PLANET for Heaven's sake! It's been a month, and so far I've been paying for an internet connection that just won't......uh.....connect. Sorry, English bad when I'm mad.

You say that there might be a problem with the TV........FUCK, BITCH, the TV works fine, it's your brain that doesn't! Technicians, my ass.

So THAT'S FUCKING IT! I'm gonna clobber Fastnet's head (if there's any) and call Indosat IM2. I'd rather pay for something more expensive on things that actually work.

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *muffle screams into pillows*

2008-08-29T01:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not done packing yet, coz there are things I need to use for shower tomorrow. And yet I can't sleep. I'm too excited about tomorrow (or less that 12 hours really). I have to wake up early but I can't rest!! I keep on thinking of things that I might forget to bring.

Let's see......tomorrow I have to bring Mica and TJ to grooming at 7 a.m., then I have to go to Plaza Indo at 10 to put Dita's car at CARS (or issit CAR'S?) to get it cleaned inside and out because after grooming, TJ's fur would be all over the place, then I have to go to the bank, then to salon (sempet lohhhhh hehehhe), then rush home to wait Fastnet techs to come while finish packing.........and at 2 p.m, Dad will come and pick me up to drive me to the airport.

My plane is at 5 p.m, and I have to be at the airport at 3 p.m.

I don't know why I'm always at the busiest time before I go on holiday somewhere!!

And what am I doing right now instead of sleeping?? Working!!!! I'm still inputing the data of the usages of oil at the camp. And why am I doing it now? Coz I just got the report this evening! And I can't just leave it until I get back.....I'm a bit OCD about my job hehehehhe.

Stressed big time!!

2008-08-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

I'm having a vacation to.......SYDNEYYY!!!!

I'm leaving on Friday for 2 weeks!! Then I'm gonna stop by to see my sisters and mom for 3 days in Singapore.

So stressed out about internet. Why is it SO HARD to go online? Tech said that the signal was weird, sometimes it's strong, sometimes it's low....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, BITCH! I mean what am I supposed to do? Move nearer to Fastnet's tower??? They keep on saying that they would contact me but then again, you know how the service is in Indonesia.

I don't want to leave things unfixed when I leave. It's like leaving things hanging. Augh!! I hope I get everything done so I can go on holiday peacefully. And I have to finish up my work, too, before they keep on calling me.

Stressed and frustrated! And I'm suppsed to have fun?

2008-08-23T02:30:00.000-07:00

FINALLYYYYYYYYY I GOT MY OWN INTERNET WITHOUT HAVING TO STEAL MY NEIGHBOR'S CONNECTION!!!

Finally today the techs arrived and did their thing to make my day.

But guess what? After they left, before even I had the chance to throw myself back to the virtual world.......they're fixing the connection in Menteng area!!! So I was back to watching DVDs T_T

At 2 a.m, while I was playing game, the connection was back on.....and off......and on....and off....GRAOWWW.

Decided to just go to sleep and yell tomorrow.

2008-08-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

I still don't have my internet connection yet....but thanks to my laptop's wi-fi, sometimes I am able to steal my neighbor's connection, lol.

But then again soon I'd feel so guilty and disconnect no later than 5 mins.

So.......I'll blog again when I have my own internet. You know how long it takes for Fastnet to get someone to come over X(

2008-08-11T22:29:00.000-07:00

One thing I hate about the lift...is you know that you're inside the lift, then the first floor ding, and when you're trying to get out, people push in?? Like they DIE IF THEY DON'T GET INSIDE SOON and yet you're trapped and can't get out coz they're blocking the space???

You kiasu assholeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

So this is what I do sometimes.....stand in front of the person who's pushing his/her way in, block his/her way, and ask, "Mau kasih gue keluar apa ngga?!" glare.....glare.......

Or this is what I do mostly......push them back out wakakakakaka.........maybe I'm as kiasu as them.

And this is what I hate when I'm getting out of the parking lot. The car in front of me stops, minutes later he gives out his parking ticket, minutes later, the money, minutes later (I'm guessing he's keeping the change safe) then he has to roll up his window......THEN he leaves. And by then, I have to add another hour's fee.

Irks me!! Can't you count the time, like see what is the time-in, then look at your watch, prepare the money while you get in your car, so that when it's your turn at the locket, you can give the parking attendant your ticket and money?! Saves time, doesn't it?! And it doesn't take a scientist to do that!!!

2008-08-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updateeeeeeee!!! I went to Padang since Monday and I just got back. I tried to blog from my phone, but somehow it just wouldn't connect to the internet.

Anyhoooooooo......I got my voice back. If you're wondering why, I started to get sick earlier last week and my coughs just got worse and it infected my vocal chord....err...issit such words? Anyway, no voice would come out whenever I tried to speak. That was Friday. And I stayed at home, bored out of my head. I wanted to meet Luke but it would look silly with me speaking in Sign Language......not that I could. Friends made fun of me.

Went to the doctor finally on Saturday. Took medicine as told, almost completely went crazy with nothing to do at home. Cleaned my room, cleaned my FAN! Can you believe it? I took the fans apart, cleaned them, and put 'em together. I watched all horror movies at night to waste time. Maybe I've been watching too many horror movies, but when it got to the point where finally I started to LAUGH at the ghosts, I shut the DVD off and went to sleep.

GOT MY VOICE BACK ON SUNDAYYY!!! Still a bit hoarse, but it's BACK! Met Luke, Jun, Olivia and another friend in Plangi to watch The Mummy : Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor. Quite disappointed at the movie, it's not as good as the first 2. After that I went back to Oh La La Cafe in F1 Hotel with Luke and we talked until past midnight. Didn't want to go home but I had to pack. Went home sulking...

Monday.....arrived in Padang around 6 something coz my plane was delayed for an hour. It's supposed to leave at 4, but finally we left Jakarta at about 5. Had dinner with Dad and my cousin and then went straight back to the hotel. Was watching the news (YES, CN WATCHES THE NEWS!) when Luke texted me saying that he's leaving soon, back to England....saddddd.

Tuesday...went to to the office and straight to the meeting room. Did some yelling, frustrated coz the people in Padang worked wayyyyy slowww. Things that could've been done in an hour, it took them a day! One freaking day! As in, oh-I'll-do-it-tomorrow...so when I asked for the document, it wasn't ready! When I tried to complain, the accounting people came out with excuses...I was counting backwards so I wouldn't scream when Dad came out from the meeting room and started, "KENAPA SIH SUKA TUNDA2 KERJAAN?! APA YANG BISA DIKERJAIN KEMAREN KENAPA SEKARANG BLOM KELAR JUGA?!!!!" Accountant sprinted off to the bank. After office hour, I went to buy spicy chips, let me rephrase...ONE BIG BOX OF KRIPIK. People stared, but I really didn't care...hey it rhymes.

Wednesday...went to sarang burung walet to check out how things were going. It was good, no complain or whatsoever. It took 3 hours to Pesisir, and another 3 to get back to the city. Had dinner, went back to the hotel and rested. Fell asleep while texting Ruru X( Sorrryyyyyyyyyy!!

Thursday......I'm back in Jakartaaaaaaaa!! Yayyyyyyy homeeeeeee!!! Got a text from Luke early in the morning. Miss him already =(